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Teammates Can’t Get Enough of Chris Volstad’s Fantasy Football Stories

(Chicago, IL) – Fantasy football season has arrived, and no one coule be more excited about it than Chicago Cubs pitcher Chris Volstad, who proudly competes in as many as six fantasy leagues in a given season, “depending on how many people want to have their [behinds] beat.” Well, no one could be more excited than Volstad … save for his teammates, who hear about how prowess regularly. Read more »

Cubs

Teammates Can’t Get Enough of Chris Volstad’s Fantasy Football Stories

(Chicago, IL) – Fantasy football season has arrived, and no one coule be more excited about it than Chicago Cubs pitcher Chris Volstad, who proudly competes in as many as six fantasy leagues in a given season, “depending on how many people want to have their [behinds] beat.” Well, no one could be more excited than Volstad … save for his teammates, who hear about how prowess regularly. Read more »

Baseball

Baltimore Orioles Make Unsuccessful Offer to Peyton Manning

(Baltimore, MD) – It’s been a rough offseason for the Baltimore Orioles. Scratch that. It’s been a rough few years for the Baltimore Orioles.

Correction. It’s been a rough decade for the Baltimore Orioles. After fighting their way to the basement of the brutal AL East, the franchise repeatedly finds itself un-chosen by the very free agents who could possibly help drag it back to respectability.

And it’s happened once again. Read more »

Football

Super Bowl Loss Confirms Roethlisberger Did It

(Dallas, TX) – Ben Roethlisberger had a decidedly up and down 2010 NFL season. Bookending a superb regular season and playoffs was a heartbreaking Super Bowl loss and a four-game suspension to start the year. The suspension, meted out by Commissioner Roger Goodell, was related to an offseason sexual assault allegation in Georgia – the second of Roethlisberger’s career – that did not ultimately lead to an arrest.

But still, fans, observers and even football betting sites wondered whether, because of his celebrity, Roethlisberger had avoided  charges despite the seriousness of what he had done. Without a prosecutor willing to seek indictment, however, no one could ever really be sure of what had happened that Georgia night.

Until now. With his Steelers falling 31-25 to the Green Bay Packers, it’s clear that Roethlisberger is guilty. Read more »

Basketball

Michael Jordan Spends 35 Minutes Explaining to Grocery Clerk Why He Wouldn’t Want to be Him

(Chicago, IL) – Chicago Bulls fans will always remember Michael Jordan as the greatest basketball player of all time. In fact, most basketball fans will remember him that way.

That’s particularly true after Michael Jordan’s perplexing and self-aggrandizing Hall of Fame induction speech last month. For more than a dozen rambling, pomp-filled minutes, Jordan reminded all in attendance of just how awesome his was at basketball. It was bizarre, but at least it eventually ended, and faded from memory.

But for Tim Crossley, a clerk at Central Grocery, Jordan’s Hall of Fame speech feels like it just happened yesterday. Because it did. To him. Read more »

Other

Jennie Finch Retires from Softball; Softball Also Decides to Retire

jennie finch head shot(Oklahoma City, OK) – Softball superstar Jennie Finch, best known for her dominating performances as a pitcher at Arizona and for the United States team, has decided to hang up her spikes. Perhaps as well known for her dazzling beauty as her blazing fastball, Finch played professional softball for the better part of 10 years.

But after those long years, Finch has decided to spend more time at home with her husband – former Major League pitcher Casey Daigle – and four-year-old son, brilliantly named Ace.

In a related announcement, the sport of Softball has announced that it, too, has decided to retire. Read more »

Baseball News

Jim Hendry Joins New York Yankees, Hands Out No-Trade Clauses Like So Many Pieces of Candy

(New York, NY) – It he’s looking to keep his players around, New York Yankees’ General Manager Brian Cashman will have some help this season. Yesterday,... Read more »

February 1, 2012 | 1 Comment

Cliff Lee’s “The Decision” to Air Tomorrow Night

(Dallas, TX) – The MLB hot stove is in full swing as the Winter Meetings conclude today. But even with all the heat, the top free agent on the market remains... Read more »

December 9, 2010 | 1 Comment


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Chicago Cubs News

Cubs Just Glad Mike Quade Can’t Hurt Them Anymore

(Chicago, IL) – The 2011 Chicago Cubs were many things, but successful wasn’t one of those things. There is, of course, plenty of blame to go around,... Read more »

October 3, 2011 | 1 Comment

Pirates Keep Telling Marlon Byrd: “You Don’t Play for Us”

(Pittsburgh, PA) – The 2011 season has been anything but successful for the Chicago Cubs. Terrible play on the field, distractions off the field, and a front... Read more »

August 3, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Carlos Zambrano Breaks Bat, Tony Campana Over Knee

(Chicago, IL) – It’s been a frustrating year in Chicago. The Cubs have been under .500 for most of the season, and, with a rampant injury problem, the... Read more »

June 1, 2011 | 2 Comments


Football News

Cam Newton’s Father Declares Cam Newton Eligible for NFL Draft

(Auburn, AL) – Fresh on the heels of a dramatic 22-19 win in the BCS National Championship Game over the Oregon Ducks, Auburn’s controversial quarterback... Read more »

January 13, 2011 | Leave a Comment

NFL to Fine or Suspend Stadium Turf for Recklessly Causing Toe Injuries

(New York, NY) – The National Football League season is just past the mid-way, and the games have been as exciting as ever. The last two weeks have seen more... Read more »

November 16, 2010 | 3 Comments


Basketball News

Drew Gooden Replacing Ben Wallace By Growing Afro on Chin

(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Bulls are languishing through a painful first half of the season, struggling to stay within striking distance of .500.  The Bulls... Read more »

January 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Derrick Rose on Stabbing Self: I just wanted be like Plax

(Chicago, IL) – The sports world’s history is full of baffling injury stories, from the silly to the downright unbelievable. Be it slipping in the shower,... Read more »

December 10, 2008 | 14 Comments


Other Sports News

Tiger Woods Emerges from Rehab Cured of Sex Addiction – STDs Remain

(Jackson, MS) – PGA superstar and questionable husband Tiger Woods has had a rough few months. After being busted by his wife for sexing 15 other women and... Read more »

February 7, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Michael Phelps Signs Endorsement Deal with Funyuns

(Los Angeles, CA) – Six months ago, you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing and hearing the news about America’s golden boy, Michael Phelps. He... Read more »

February 6, 2009 | 7 Comments