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Celebrity Deaths Clearly Taking Toll on Milton Bradley

(Chicago, IL) - Last week will forever been known as the week that so many celebrities passed away. Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays all left us. And no one is hurting more than Chicago Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley.

Bradley had a difficult week, getting into a fiery argument with manager Lou Piniella, getting kicked out of a game, and facing the anger of teammates. But what Bradley wasn’t prepared to admit until today: those celebrity deaths are what’s making him crazy. This week, at least. Read more »

Cubs

Celebrity Deaths Clearly Taking Toll on Milton Bradley

(Chicago, IL) - Last week will forever been known as the week that so many celebrities passed away. Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays all left us. And no one is hurting more than Chicago Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley.

Bradley had a difficult week, getting into a fiery argument with manager Lou Piniella, getting kicked out of a game, and facing the anger of teammates. But what Bradley wasn’t prepared to admit until today: those celebrity deaths are what’s making him crazy. This week, at least. Read more »

Baseball

Dustin Pedroia “Just Being Manny”

(Boston, MA) - The 2009 baseball season is up and kicking, and although interesting stories abound, none seems to capture the national imagination more than anything and everything about Manny Ramirez. From his bizarre exit from Boston last year, to his will-he-won’t-he sign with Los Angeles, folks just can’t seem to get enough of Manny’s antics.

Of course, Red Sox fans were mildly relieved to see his tiresome act ride off into the sunset, and his performance was ably replaced by a new MVP-calibre player: second baseman Dustin Pedroia.

But unfortunately for them, Manny’s baseball production wasn’t the only thing that Dusty Pedroia replaced.

Read more »

Football

Buffalo Bills Sign Badboy Terrell Owens, Think They Can “Change Him”

(Buffalo, NY) - When the Dallas Cowboys finally became so fed up with rebellous wide receiver Terrell Owens and released him a little while ago, most thought it would be a while before he found a new team to take him in.

But the Buffalo Bills swooped in quickly with a one-year, $6.5 million deal for Owens. Ever the badboy, Owens brings as much off the field drama as on the field talent. But the Bills say this time, it will be different.

Read more »

Basketball

Cubs Dugout Gatorade Machine: I Never Should Have Slept With Zambrano’s Wife

zambrano-destroys-gatorade(Chicago, IL) - In just three days, the Chicago Cubs dugout has seen its share of tantrums. On Monday, it was starting pitcher Ryan Dempster who blew up after a poor performance and took it out on various dugout equipment, including the team’s Gatorade machine.

It seemed an isolated, and random attack until earlier today, when pitcher Carlos Zambrano, angry at a blown call and subsequent ejection, took out his anger on the very same Gatorade machine.

Clearly, something larger was at play.

Read more »

Other

Michael Phelps Signs Endorsement Deal with Funyuns

michael phelps funyuns stoner

(Los Angeles, CA) - Six months ago, you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing and hearing the news about America’s golden boy, Michael Phelps. He had just done what no other person had ever done: he won eight gold medals in a single Olympics.

Flash forward six months, and once again, you can’t go anywhere without seeing and hearing the news about America’s golden boy, Michael Phelps. But this time, the news is less flattering. Read more »

Baseball News

ESPN Concludes Yankees Will Win National League Central

(Bristol, CT) - It’s here. It’s finally here. Opening Day, and all the wonder that comes with it. Peanuts, cracker jacks, cripplingly overpriced tickets.... Read more »

April 6, 2009 | 3 Comments

WBC Pits World’s Best Backups and Minor Leaguers Against Each Other for Some Reason

(The World, The World) - This week kicks off the third, or fourth, or something, annual World Baseball Classic. The international baseball tournament will find countries... Read more »

March 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment


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Chicago Cubs News

Chicago Cubs: “Actually, we were scouting Pedro’s midget friend”

(Santa Louisa, D.R.) - This Major League Baseball season has been unusual in a number of regards, but one notable oddity is the number of players that remain unsigned,... Read more »

June 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Paparazzi Catch Ted Lilly on the Town with New Girlfriend

(Chicago, IL) - The Chicago Cubs are mired in an offensive slump, and a terrible month overall. Still, the starting pitching has remained excellent - the best in... Read more »

June 18, 2009 | 2 Comments

Jake Fox: “Oh, the Cubs have offensive woes? I couldn’t tell from all the way here in Iowa.”

(Houston, TX) - Another day, another pathetic offensive showing by the Chicago Cubs. After back to back 2-1 losses to the hapless Houston Astros, and a stretch of... Read more »

June 11, 2009 | 1 Comment


Football News

Unable to Lure Jerome Bettis Out of Retirement, Steelers Sign Actual Bus

(Tampa, Fla.) - The Pittsburgh Steelers, for the second time since 2005, have won the Super Bowl, beating the Arizona Cardinals in the big game last night, 27-23.... Read more »

February 2, 2009 | 2 Comments

Bears Spare Fans Playoff Misery By Skipping Playoffs

(Houston, TX) - The Chicago Bears entered Sunday, the last week of the regular season, with an excellent chance of making the playoffs. But after a 31-24 loss to... Read more »

December 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment


Basketball News

Teammates Question Ryan Theriot’s Offseason “Workout Regimine”

(Mesa, AZ) - The Chicago Cubs showed up to spring training last week rested and ready to take on the world. For most, the rest helps, but only leads to a hunger... Read more »

February 23, 2009 | 1 Comment

Drew Gooden Replacing Ben Wallace By Growing Afro on Chin

(Chicago, IL) - The Chicago Bulls are languishing through a painful first half of the season, struggling to stay within striking distance of .500.  The Bulls simply... Read more »

January 12, 2009 | Leave a Comment


Other Sports News

Michael Phelps Wins Record-Breaking Eight Gold Medals, but Has to Shave Arms to Do It

(Beijing, China) - It was a record-smashing week in Beijing for U.S. Men’s Swimming superstar Michael Phelps. When he secured his eighth gold medal on Sunday,... Read more »

August 18, 2008 | 16 Comments

Doctors Concede Tiger Woods “Probably didn’t need that bionic knee we gave him”

(Torrey Pines, CA) - Tiger Woods has made a career of doing the incredible - and making it look easy. Yesterday, he won the U.S. Open, his third, after a 19-hole... Read more »

June 17, 2008 | 3 Comments