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Cubs Just Glad Mike Quade Can’t Hurt Them Anymore
(Chicago, IL) – The 2011 Chicago Cubs were many things, but successful wasn’t one of those things.
There is, of course, plenty of blame to go around, between players and the front office.
But many fans point the finger squarely at rookie manager, Mike Quade. And the team agrees. Read more »
Cubs
Cubs Just Glad Mike Quade Can’t Hurt Them Anymore
(Chicago, IL) – The 2011 Chicago Cubs were many things, but successful wasn’t one of those things.
There is, of course, plenty of blame to go around, between players and the front office.
But many fans point the finger squarely at rookie manager, Mike Quade. And the team agrees. Read more »
Baseball
Cliff Lee’s “The Decision” to Air Tomorrow Night
(Dallas, TX) – The MLB hot stove is in full swing as the Winter Meetings conclude today. But even with all the heat, the top free agent on the market remains unsigned.
Starting pitcher Cliff Lee is being pursued by multiple teams, including his “hometown” Texas Rangers, but he hasn’t yet given an indication of which seven year, $140+ million deal he’s going to accept. We’re sure it’s agonizing.
Fortunately for everyone, Lee is expected to announce his decision on a broadcast tomorrow night, aptly titled “The Decision.” Read more »
Football
Super Bowl Loss Confirms Roethlisberger Did It
(Dallas, TX) – Ben Roethlisberger had a decidedly up and down 2010 NFL season. Bookending a superb regular season and playoffs was a heartbreaking Super Bowl loss and a four-game suspension to start the year. The suspension, meted out by Commissioner Roger Goodell, was related to an offseason sexual assault allegation in Georgia – the second of Roethlisberger’s career – that did not ultimately lead to an arrest.
But still, fans, observers and even football betting sites wondered whether, because of his celebrity, Roethlisberger had avoided charges despite the seriousness of what he had done. Without a prosecutor willing to seek indictment, however, no one could ever really be sure of what had happened that Georgia night.
Until now. With his Steelers falling 31-25 to the Green Bay Packers, it’s clear that Roethlisberger is guilty. Read more »
Basketball
Michael Jordan Spends 35 Minutes Explaining to Grocery Clerk Why He Wouldn’t Want to be Him
(Chicago, IL) – Chicago Bulls fans will always remember Michael Jordan as the greatest basketball player of all time. In fact, most basketball fans will remember him that way.
That’s particularly true after Michael Jordan’s perplexing and self-aggrandizing Hall of Fame induction speech last month. For more than a dozen rambling, pomp-filled minutes, Jordan reminded all in attendance of just how awesome his was at basketball. It was bizarre, but at least it eventually ended, and faded from memory.
But for Tim Crossley, a clerk at Central Grocery, Jordan’s Hall of Fame speech feels like it just happened yesterday. Because it did. To him. Read more »
Other
Jennie Finch Retires from Softball; Softball Also Decides to Retire
(Oklahoma City, OK) – Softball superstar Jennie Finch, best known for her dominating performances as a pitcher at Arizona and for the United States team, has decided to hang up her spikes. Perhaps as well known for her dazzling beauty as her blazing fastball, Finch played professional softball for the better part of 10 years.
But after those long years, Finch has decided to spend more time at home with her husband – former Major League pitcher Casey Daigle – and four-year-old son, brilliantly named Ace.
In a related announcement, the sport of Softball has announced that it, too, has decided to retire. Read more »
Baseball News
MLB Cancels World Series After Yankees, Phillies Fail to Qualify
(New York, NY) – The Major League Baseball season is over, so says an official statement from Commissioner Bud Selig’s office. Most sports fans know... Read more »
Ozzie Guillen’s Twitter Account Clearly Hacked
(Chicago, IL) – The baseball world is preparing for the start of Spring Training games, but the biggest news is still coming from off the field. Last week,... Read more »
Sports Interaction
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Chicago Cubs News
Pirates Keep Telling Marlon Byrd: “You Don’t Play for Us”
(Pittsburgh, PA) – The 2011 season has been anything but successful for the Chicago Cubs. Terrible play on the field, distractions off the field, and a front... Read more »
Carlos Zambrano Breaks Bat, Tony Campana Over Knee
(Chicago, IL) – It’s been a frustrating year in Chicago. The Cubs have been under .500 for most of the season, and, with a rampant injury problem, the... Read more »
Geovany Soto Bit By Dreaded ‘Redbook’ Curse
(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs are mired in an early season slump, and there doesn’t appear to be much help coming from outside sources. No, we don’t... Read more »
Football News
Cam Newton’s Father Declares Cam Newton Eligible for NFL Draft
(Auburn, AL) – Fresh on the heels of a dramatic 22-19 win in the BCS National Championship Game over the Oregon Ducks, Auburn’s controversial quarterback... Read more »
NFL to Fine or Suspend Stadium Turf for Recklessly Causing Toe Injuries
(New York, NY) – The National Football League season is just past the mid-way, and the games have been as exciting as ever. The last two weeks have seen more... Read more »
Basketball News
Drew Gooden Replacing Ben Wallace By Growing Afro on Chin
(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Bulls are languishing through a painful first half of the season, struggling to stay within striking distance of .500. The Bulls... Read more »
Derrick Rose on Stabbing Self: I just wanted be like Plax
(Chicago, IL) – The sports world’s history is full of baffling injury stories, from the silly to the downright unbelievable. Be it slipping in the shower,... Read more »
Other Sports News
Tiger Woods Emerges from Rehab Cured of Sex Addiction – STDs Remain
(Jackson, MS) – PGA superstar and questionable husband Tiger Woods has had a rough few months. After being busted by his wife for sexing 15 other women and... Read more »
Michael Phelps Signs Endorsement Deal with Funyuns
(Los Angeles, CA) – Six months ago, you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing and hearing the news about America’s golden boy, Michael Phelps. He... Read more »
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Random Flashback Headlines
- Lou Piniella expands Scott Eyre’s horizons through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program
- Augie Ojeda Excluded from Home Run Derby for “The last damn time”
- Kevin Gregg Had No Idea He Was Still Wearing Gigantic Glasses
- Jason Marquis Pitching His Way Into Postseason Rotation Spot that Doesn’t Exist
- Jim Edmonds “Totally Had to Dive” For That Ball
- Bonds hits home run 740, draws Pluto into head’s orbit
- Matsuzaka: “I’m Pretty [Freaking] Tired of Me Already”
- Blanka tired of younger brother, Prince, getting all the attention
- NEWSBRIEF: Patriots List Brady as Questionable for Super Bowl with Severely Cracked Chin
- Cubs Fire Fukudome’s Translator After Discovering He Doesn’t Speak Japanese
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