Lou Piniella expands Scott Eyre’s horizons through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program

April 23, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – Looking to fill a void in his life, Lou Piniella volunteered to be a Big Brother through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. When Scotty Eyre, 34, found out his new Big Brother was Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella, he could hardly believe it.

When asked about the program, Eyre replied, “I am just so happy to have someone to play with, talk to, and help me if I have a problem at school.”

And Big Brother Lou is honored to have the chance to make an impact on this young man’s life. “I just want to be a positive influence for Scotty – someone he will always remember or can come to talk to about anything,” said Lou. “Plus, being the manager of the Cubs, I can give Scotty unique opportunities that he wouldn’t otherwise be able to experience.”

“He never, ever yells at me when the kids on the other teams hit the ball really far when I throw it to them. That makes me feel good,” said little Scotty, when asked about the recent struggles of the Cubs ‘pen.

Lou Piniella Scott Eyre
Expanding horizons through the power of one-to-one friendships.

When grilled by the media about continuing to use Eyre in crucial situations, Lou guffawed, “What is more important? The future of this young man or a silly baseball game? I’m trying to create memories that will last a lifetime here. I’m not concerned about the outcome of the game. GROW UP!”

“Me and my Big Brother are going to Chuck E. Cheese next week!” added Eyre.

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway. Article by Geoff Stone – visit Bricks and Ivy Radio at www.bricksandivyradio.com)


2 Responses to “Lou Piniella expands Scott Eyre’s horizons through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program”

  1. The 5-Minute Superfan: June 16, 2008 | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor and Sports Parody News on June 16th, 2008 6:38 am

    [...] June 9 – Off-day. Lou Piniella and Scott Eyre share a special moment and a deep-dish pizza. Or [...]

  2. A Cubs Fan’s 2008 World Series Preview | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on November 1st, 2008 1:19 pm

    [...] thing, is that I’m really glad that Scott Eyre is getting to play in the World Series for the Phillies, after being dumped by the Cubs. It’s [...]

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