Rich Hill Nearly No-Hits Brewers – Julio Lugo Successfully No-Hits Wife
April 23, 2008
(Milwaukee, WI / Boston, MA) – While Rich Hill was nearly throwing a no-hitter against the Brewers in Milwaukee late Friday night, Red Sox Shortstop Julio Lugo was reaching for an achievement of his own: he was no-hitting his wife.
“It was great,” said Lugo. “I didn’t know if I had it in me to get there, but the hours just kept going by, first, second, third… and there was no hitting. It was amazing.” Lugo said by the seventh and eighth hours, the couple were doing all they could to keep from jinxing the no-hit evening. “It was one of those things where you know it’s happening, but nobody wants to say anything, you know? My wife almost said something at one point, but we both smiled, and she was like oops. Close call. But yeah, we’re really excited. No hitting. It was great.”
Lugo looks to continue his no-hit streak this weekend in Arlington as the Red Sox visit the Texas Rangers.
-Flexwell G. Puckerpants, beat writer, Times Monitor Standard Courier
(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the B&I Times Monitor Standard Courier is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. Julio Lugo did not say or do these things. I’m sure he’s a great and honorable man, and no one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)