Rich Hill Nearly No-Hits Brewers – Julio Lugo Successfully No-Hits Wife

April 23, 2008

Julio Lugo interview

(Milwaukee, WI / Boston, MA) – While Rich Hill was nearly throwing a no-hitter against the Brewers in Milwaukee late Friday night, Red Sox Shortstop Julio Lugo was reaching for an achievement of his own: he was no-hitting his wife.

“It was great,” said Lugo. “I didn’t know if I had it in me to get there, but the hours just kept going by, first, second, third… and there was no hitting. It was amazing.” Lugo said by the seventh and eighth hours, the couple were doing all they could to keep from jinxing the no-hit evening. “It was one of those things where you know it’s happening, but nobody wants to say anything, you know? My wife almost said something at one point, but we both smiled, and she was like oops. Close call. But yeah, we’re really excited. No hitting. It was great.”

Lugo looks to continue his no-hit streak this weekend in Arlington as the Red Sox visit the Texas Rangers.

-Flexwell G. Puckerpants, beat writer, Times Monitor Standard Courier

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the B&I Times Monitor Standard Courier is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. Julio Lugo did not say or do these things. I’m sure he’s a great and honorable man, and no one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)


3 Responses to “Rich Hill Nearly No-Hits Brewers – Julio Lugo Successfully No-Hits Wife”

  1. Inspired by Rick Ankiel, Rich Hill to Attempt Comeback as Hitter | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor, Sports Parody News, and Cubs Resources on July 2nd, 2008 7:39 am

    [...] AZ) – There was a time when Chicago Cubs pitcher Rich Hill was good. At times, Rich Hill was great. But after early season struggles forced a demotion from the big [...]

  2. Lou Piniella Turns to Situational Lefty in the First Inning | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor, Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on July 23rd, 2008 9:47 pm

    [...] fans and observors have been troubled by the decision. To make matters worse, Piniella used situational lefty Hill to face primarily right-handed [...]

  3. Carlos Zambrano No-Hits Astros, Feasts on Their Flesh | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on September 15th, 2008 7:54 am

    [...] Chicago Cubs ace Carlos Zambrano threw his first no-hitter last night in Milwaukee against the Houston Astros in the first of two rescheduled games, moved from Houston because of Hurricane Ike. Zambrano kept the Astros off-balance all night long, striking out 10, and making the rest look foolish. It was the Cubs’ first no-hitter in more than 35 years, though they have come close recently. [...]

Got something to say?

You must be logged in to post a comment.