Tony LaRussa refuses to talk with Mills Fleet Farm representatives for entire weekend

April 23, 2008

(Saint Louis, MO) Two weeks after Tony LaRussa took a stand against the Post-Dispatch for taking a “cheap shot” against the Cubs, the manager of the Saint Louis Cardinals has now proclaimed that he will not talk with any employee – no matter what position – from the Midwestern retailer.

“I went in to buy a [stinking] citronella candle and exchange my empty propane tank and all seemed well,” said a visibly angry LaRussa. “But when I got in my car, I noticed that they short-changed me at the register. Those [jerks] owe me two dollars and change.”

Cardinals Tony LaRussa
When asked by Fleet Farm representatives to indicate the discrepancy between the change owed him and the change received, Mr. LaRussa chose to communicate with hand gestures, rather than break his self-imposed code of silence.

When reached for comment, Ernie Arsbecker – night manager of the Bloomington store – said, “We sure do apologize to Mr. LaRussa for the oversight. We’re more than happy to send him a check for the money we owe, along with a $50 gift certificate for his troubles.”

When told of this, LaRussa chuckled, “I bet they’d like that. Listen to me. Tony LaRussa can’t be bought and sold by Mills Farm and Fleet. I want nothing to do with them…at least until Monday when I need to buy a replacement light bulb for the garage.”

Sources also report that LaRussa is considering a weekend hunger strike after the Wendy’s drive-thru employee gave him a Spicy Chicken sandwich instead of the Grilled Chicken sandwich that he ordered.

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway. Article by Geoff Stone – visit Bricks and Ivy Radio at


One Response to “Tony LaRussa refuses to talk with Mills Fleet Farm representatives for entire weekend”

  1. Tony LaRussa Skips the Step Where You Stop Being an Asshole | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on August 11th, 2008 7:46 am

    [...] has always been thought of as a bit of a curmugeon. But it is only recently that he became an all out butthole. Even his own players have to [...]

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