Cubs Shown “Braveheart” for Inspiration – Bob Howry Responds by Dying

April 25, 2008

Bobby Howry pictures

(Phoenix, AZ) – The Cubs remain steeped in a battle with the Milwaukee Brewers and St. Louis Cardinals for the National League Central, and Manager Lou Piniella is looking for anything he can do to help keep the Cubs winning. That’s why he decided to show the Mel Gibson film, “Braveheart,” to the team after yesterday’s defeat at the hands of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Lou told the team that they should watch the movie closely and seek to be inspired – to act as Braveheart does in the film.

Apparently Cub reliever Bob Howry took Lou’s charge a little too literally. The inspirational tale of thirteenth century warrior William Wallace’s quest to free the Scottish people from English oppression – a quest in which he and his spirit are ultimately victorious – is gripping, moving, and powerful, and culminates in Wallace’s death at the hands of an English executioner.

Howry responded to the film by dying.

The Cubs were distraught with Howry’s passing for a variety of reasons. “We watched it until the end, and [Howry] said he understood what Lou was trying to say. He flopped his innards onto the table, and died,” recalled a noticeably saddened Daryl Ward. “I was just so sad, because it was the table where they put the after-game spread. We had McRibs today.”

Piniella was second guessing his decision to show “Braveheart” to the team. “I’m just shocked that this happened, but I should have seen it coming. I should have stuck with my gut, stuck with my first idea for an inspirational movie. It’s really the only movie that matters. An American Tale: Feivel Goes West.”

The Cubs did not have much time to deal with Howry’s death, though, because the film brought on another clubhouse problem: shortly after the viewing, pitcher Ryan Dempster began screaming “prima nocte” at the top of his lungs, and sleeping with everyone else’s wife.

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