Kansas City Royals Mathematically Eliminated from Playoff Contention

April 25, 2008

Kansas City Royals

(Kansas City, MO) – Monday was a day of spirited excitement all around baseball, as teams took the field for Opening Day. But the day was also one of profound disappointment for the Kansas Ciy Royals, as they were officially eliminated from playoff contention despite their 5-4 extra innings victory over the Detroit Tigers.

Though disappointed, the Royals (1-0) cannot be particularly surprised that they will not be making the playoffs this year. The team has not made the playoffs in more than 20 years.

Still, the day stung.

“Yeah, of course we’re disappointed,” Royals 3B Alex Gordon said Monday night. “I mean, it is particularly hard to swallow, given that we’ve won the only game we’ve played this year.”

This is the first time the Royals have been eliminated on Opening Day following a win, but it is not the earliest they have been eliminated. In 1986, the team was eliminated from the playoffs in the third inning of their Opening Day game. And mid-way through 1995, they were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs for the 1996, 1997, and 1998 seasons.

“At first I didn’t want to believe it,” the Royals’ new manager Trey Hillman said. “But I’m no mathematician, and I’ve been shown the numbers. The dream is over.”

“Next year, we’ll just have to regroup, and see if we can’t make it into April with a shot.”

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. The Royals are still alive for a playoffs spot in the same way that the Rays and Orioles are still alive. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)


3 Responses to “Kansas City Royals Mathematically Eliminated from Playoff Contention”

  1. Royals Fan on January 27th, 2009 12:58 pm

    I would like to note that I do not appreciate this article. We were alive well into the second week of the season. I think we will make it to mid May this year. Fingers crossed.

  2. Ace on January 27th, 2009 7:19 pm

    Haha. Nicely played.

  3. Warpig on September 29th, 2010 4:24 pm

    Haha! Love it! I can’t belive this..:(

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