NEWSBRIEF: Study Shows Most Cubs Players Graduated from Valley High

April 25, 2008

A new study has revealed that the majority of the Chicago Cubs roster graduated from Valley High in Malibu, CA in the early 1990s, and have developed the “Valley Syndrome,” which usually consists of finishing behind a rival in every conceivable form of contest. Other conditions associated with this disease include “Preppy Predetermininity,” “Curly Mullet Mandrosis,” and a spawned off disease known as “Valley Syndrome: the Community College and Part Time Job at Target Years.”


Cubs players shudder at the thought of facing Bayside’s dynamic duo ever again.

(Article by Koz.)

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