Ozzie Guillen Uses Racial Epithet Against Self
May 6, 2008
(Toronto, CA) – Shortly before the White Sox faced the Toronto Blue Jays yesterday, Sox manager Ozzie Guillen launched into a profanity-laced tirade. In the tirade, Guillen took shots at Chicago Cubs fans, Chicago White Sox fans, the media, and even former Cubs manager Lee Elia’s infamous rant. Other than finding new and exciting ways to discuss horsepoop, Guillen’s tirade was pretty standard fair.
But it was what he said after the game that really had people buzzing.Shortly after his White Sox dropped a 1-0 game to the Blue Jays, Guillen was back at it. This time Guillen – never one to shy away from a good racial or homophobic slur – set his angry sights on a new target: himself.
“I could sit here and [freaking] tell you that I managed a good game, but I was [poop],” Guillen angrily asserted after the game. “And I’m pretty [freaking] sick of my [poop]. I’m just a [racial epithet redacted]. I mean, we’re supposed to be the White Sox, you know. The White Sox. And here I am.”
The media were stunned at Guillen’s comments toward himself, but pressed.
“I’m serious. I’m no better than that [homophobic slur redacted] Jay Mariotti. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go make out with Kenny Williams to once again preserve my job.”
(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. Ozzie did not say these things…yet. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)
Stumble it!
Join Our Cubs Message Board
Written by Ace · Filed Under Baseball
Tagged:
Comments
4 Responses to “Ozzie Guillen Uses Racial Epithet Against Self”
Got something to say?
Sponsored By
More Sponsors
How about some tickets? Just Great Tickets has the best seats at Wrigley Field for Chicago Cubs tickets. Get all MLB tickets and Chicago Bears tickets too.
Review the finest internet gambling sites with huge welcome bonuses for online blackjack, poker and roulette games.
Random Flashback Headlines
- Mark Cuban Fined Heavily for Criticizing SEC Officials
- Chicago Cubs Make Difficult New Years’ Resolutions
- Cubs Hoping Manny Demands Trade Before NLDS Begins
- Cardinal Fans – Can We At Least Agree This is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports, oh, and You’re a Douchebag?
- Paparazzi Catch Ted Lilly on the Town with New Girlfriend
- HD Television Reveals Sean Marshall’s Super Cool Tattoo Actually Sharpie
- Cubs Find Inspiration to Win by Stripping Life-Sized Photo of Jim Hendry Naked
- 2008 Cubs Were Victims of Expectations, Pressure, and Baseball Rape
- Cubs Tanking to Get Number One Pick Greg Oden
- Jim Hendry refuses to bring CC Sabathia to Chicago
-
Categories
-
Archives
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
-
RSS
-
Gaming Sites
-
You can take a chance with the Cubs or any other team betting online.
Sponsors
[...] comparing Lou Piniella and Ozzie Guillen. It makes Ozzie look like a lovable card and not the Ozzie he really is. We also receive good news from Carlos Zambrano’s MRI results: no tear in any of the [...]
[...] [freaking] Monopoly or Shoots and Ladders?” White Sox manager and AL Central representative Ozzie Guillen said. “I’m pretty sure [MLB Commissioner] Bud Selig just ran out and grabbed the first [...]
[...] Please do not ceaselessly shout racial and sexual epithets that mask your own insecurities about gender identity and sexuality. Note that this instruction is mostly for manager Ozzie Guillen. [...]
[...] think it’s [freaking] great,” White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen said. “I kind of wish he wasn’t a minority, but it’s good [...]