Fukudome on Bobblehead Night: “You honor me with giant head”

May 28, 2008

Kosuke Fukudome Cubs

(Chicago, IL) – Chicago Cubs right fielder Kosuke Fukudome was celebrated at Wrigley Field last night with his very own bobblehead. And Fukudome returned the favor by going 2-3, driving in a run, and making two spectacular catches in Chicago’s 3-1 win over the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Fascinated by the toy depiction, Fukudome had a great deal to say.“I wish to say that I am pleased by this miniature person trophy,” Fukudome said after the game through his translator. “I love Chicago Cubs fans, and you now honor me with giant head. I love head. And I thank you all for giving it to me.”

Fukudome’s translator, never one to shy away from inserting himself into Fukudome’s interactions, apparently did not warn Kosuke of the unfortunate double meaning. Instead, he continued translating.

“I am not certain how much it looks like me. This statute version appears to have suffered vertebrae damage as it cannot steady its neck. But you have given me big head, and I do not complain. I feel very welcomed in the great American town of Chicago, and now with giant head, I feel even more taken care of.”

Aramis Ramirez Bobblehead

It is hard to imagine Fukudome’s bobblehead not looking just like the Japanese star. Afterall, recent Cubs bobbleheads – like third baseman Aramis Ramirez, pictured left – are the absolute spitting image of the players. That is, assuming Aramis Ramirez looks like a retarded chipmunk.

If nothing else, it is good to see Fukudome’s relationship with the Chicago faithful improving after the unfortunate series of events surrounding a certain offensive tee-shirt and public relationship campaign.

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. Fukudome didn’t say these things, but we’re sure he did like the doll. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)


One Response to “Fukudome on Bobblehead Night: “You honor me with giant head””

  1. The 5-Minute Superfan: June 1, 2008 | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor and Sports Parody News on June 1st, 2008 9:46 am

    [...] repeat. Cubs beat Dodgers 3-1, again. Sean Gallagher pitched a gem for the Cubs, and left fielder Kosuke Fukudome had a great night at the plate and in the field on his bobblehead night. Gallagher is just 22, and is a name to know. He was selected by the Cubs in 12th round in 2004 – [...]

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