Young Cubs Fan “Pretty Sure” Inverting His Hat Causes Cub Wins
May 31, 2008
(Chicago, IL) – This week has seen the Cubs come back late in dramatic fashion in several games, finding a way to win when a win seemed just out of reach. No game exemplifies this come-back spirit more than Friday’s win over the Colorado Rockies. Trailing 8-0 early, the Cubs found a way – as if by magic – to come all the way back in the late innings, and pull out a 10-9 win.
One young Cubs fan thinks he holds the secret to the Cubs victories this week – and he wears it on his head.
Eight-year-old Cubs fan [name withheld] says his headwear is the reason the Cubs have been coming back recently. Out of school for the summer, like many other young Cubs fans, he has been able to attend every game this week. “It’s been super neat. I like nachos. And when the Cubs are losing, and the game is almost over, I just turn my hat inside out and put it on my head, and then the Cubs win. I’m pretty sure it’s my hat [that causes the wins]. I’m awesome.”
The young fan is describing what many call a “rally cap.” The mystical hat inversion has been credited with exciting comeback victories throughout history. Inverted Union hats were commonplace at Gettysburg, and archaeologists found what they believe to be rally caps at Thermopylae.
Recognizing his obvious power, his parents have asked us to protect his identity. If opposing teams knew he was in the ballpark for a game, certainly they would do what it takes to ensure he was unable to invert his hat, and spark another Cubs comeback.
“I see other people doing rally caps at the games, too, but they’re just being silly and wasting their time,” he said. “It only matters when I do it [because I'm just a stupid kid who doesn't understand the basic difference between correlation and causation, and can't wrap my tiny little head around the fallacy in my logic].”
The boy’s power is apparently not infallible, however. “In one of the games, I had my rally cap on, but then I picked my boogies and ate it, and the Cubs didn’t do good that inning. So now I know, no boogies. That’s what my mom says anyway.”
In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. If anyone’s rally cap is causing wins, it’s mine. So screw off, kid. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.