Jim Hendry refuses to bring CC Sabathia to Chicago

June 24, 2008

Indians Sabathia(Chicago, IL) – Jim Hendry was asked whether he was prepared to part with several prized prospects in order to bring ace CC Sabathia to the Northside. His answer was absolute and sudden.

“No,” responded the Cubs’ GM, much to the surprise and chagrin of the Cubs faithful, as a bit of glaze drizzled down his chins.

When asked to follow up as to why he was not willing to bring in Sabathia to help the Cubs pennant and World Series chances, Hendry was quick to respond.

“I did it for the safety of the Chicago area,” Hendry stated, “I am not entirely sure that the local Krispy Kreme donut shops could handle the demand that would be created if both CC and I were present in the area. And I refuse to give up my New York style cheesecake donuts. Not for him…not for anyone.”

Hendry’s love for sugary baked goods is well known not only in the Cubs clubhouse, but in the Chicago community at large. Hendry credits donuts for his sexy physique.

Sabathia was unavailable for comment, but it is rumored that he does, indeed, love New York style cheesecake donuts.

In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, intended for humor, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. I have no idea what sort of donut either CC Sabathia or Jim Hendry likes. But you know they do love donuts. No one should construe this fake article as being fact. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.

Comments

4 Responses to “Jim Hendry refuses to bring CC Sabathia to Chicago”

  1. Clapp on June 24th, 2008 7:28 pm

    Fly, you bitch!

    Great article though.

  2. Gregster on June 24th, 2008 7:32 pm

    Good thing Hendry like them donuts cuz CC might not help the Cubs as well as we’ve been playing!!!!! lol

  3. Absolute » Blog Archive » Jim Hendry refuses to bring CC Sabathia to Chicago on June 24th, 2008 10:09 pm

    [...] Jim Hendry refuses to bring CC Sabathia to Chicago His answer was absolute and sudden. “No,” responded the Cubs’ GM, much to the surprise and chagrin of the Cubs faithful. [...]

  4. Brewers Trade for C.C. Sabathia - Cubs Go Out and Sleep with First Pitcher They See | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor, Sports Parody News, and Cubs Blog on July 7th, 2008 7:18 am

    [...] they would not have enough to acquire him, they did their best to convince everyone else that the Cubs weren’t interested in the first place. But now that Sabathia is a Brewer, the Cubs have apparently decided they must go to great lengths [...]

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