Cubs Feel Bad for Spurned Non-All Star Reds, Treat Them to Home Run Derby

July 11, 2008

Ryan Howard Wins Home Run Derby

(Chicago, IL) – The Cubs have a lot of guys headed to the Midsummer Classic, the All Star Game. The Cincinnati Reds have only Edinson Volquez. So while the Reds were in town, the Cubs decided to treat them by hosting their own version of the Home Run Derby on Thursday, which the Reds won by hitting approximately 800 home runs.

“We just felt bad, because we knew they were going to miss the festivities at the All Star game,” Cubs starting pitcher Ted Lilly said, “and some of these guys would have been great in the Home Run Derby. So we gave them their own Derby.”

Ken Griffey, Jr., David Ross, Edwin Encarnacion, Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips, and home run specialist Adam Dunn all went deep in the Derby – and all were passed over for the All Star Game.

“It was nice to see that these guys can still entertain in a Derby, even if they suck,” Lilly said. “I just hope no one thought I was actually trying to get guys out. We were tossing batting practice pitches out there.”

This was not the first time that the Reds had a home run explosion against the Cubs. Earlier this year on May 7 in Cincinnati, the Cubs gave up seven home runs to the Reds. So were they also letting the Reds have a Home Run Derby then, as well?

“No, we just kind of sucked back then,” Lilly said.

So are the Cubs so generous that they were willing to sacrifice a regular season game for this gratuitous Derby? When asked just that, Cubs manager Lou Piniella was as confused as ever.

“Wait, what? Regular season game? That was a real game? Son of a biscuit bottom. I really gotta start paying more attention.”

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One Response to “Cubs Feel Bad for Spurned Non-All Star Reds, Treat Them to Home Run Derby”

  1. Augie Ojeda Excluded from Home Run Derby for “The last damn time” | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor, Sports Parody News, and Cubs Blog on July 15th, 2008 7:40 am

    [...] has been made about the lack of home run superstars in this year’s derby – no active home run leader in Ken Griffey, Jr., no season home run leader in Ryan Howard, no New York home run star in Alex Rodriguez. But one [...]

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