Augie Ojeda Excluded from Home Run Derby for “The last damn time”

July 15, 2008

Augie Ojeda

(New York, NY) – Justin Morneau won in grand fashion and Josh Hamilton hit a mind-blowing 28 home runs in the first round, but the real story at this year’s Home Run Derby was lurking somewhere outside the gates of Yankee Stadium. That’s because the real story was not who was participating in the Derby, it was who was not participating.

Much has been made about the lack of home run superstars in this year’s derby – no active home run leader in Ken Griffey, Jr., no season home run leader in Ryan Howard, no New York home run star in Alex Rodriguez. But one player says none of that matters. He is the man who really should have been there. And his name is Augie Ojeda.

Ojeda, a utility infielder and sometimes ridiculous starter for the Arizona Diamondbacks, says he’s been trying to participate in the Derby for some ten years.

“Heck yeah I want to hit in the Derby,” Ojeda screamed late last night to an interested crowd of homeless people. “But every year I show up, and every year they shut the doors on me. Well this is the last damn time they do that. I promise you.”

Ojeda’s rage at being excluded from the Derby is a bit perplexing considering his season total stands at 0, and his career high in home runs is 2. Other Derby participants routinely hit 2 home runs in a single game. Cub fans will remember Ojeda, a former Cub, more for his scrappiness than his something-far-short-of-the-warning-track power. So will fans take the threat of Ojeda, 4’10″, seriously?

“People aren’t afraid of me just because I look like a muppet,” Ojeda railed. “But I bring a ferocity that no one can deny. And if I’m not in that Derby next year, someone will pay. So help me, I will kick so many shins that no one will be able to ignore me. Except maybe soccer players.”

Ojeda wrapped up his impromptu conference by stating that he will also fiercely battle anyone who tries to exclude him from the World Series, the NBA Finals, and the MTV Video Music Awards.


2 Responses to “Augie Ojeda Excluded from Home Run Derby for “The last damn time””

  1. All Star Game Determines World Series Home-Field Advantage - Board Game Determines ALCS Home-Field | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Humor, Sports Parody News, and Cubs Blog on July 17th, 2008 7:44 am

    [...] also announced that the Home Run Derby will now determine who wins in the divisional playoffs, and will also determine who has the largest [...]

  2. 靴 シューズ スニーカー on July 28th, 2014 9:55 pm

    靴 シューズ スニーカー

    Augie Ojeda Excluded from Home Run Derby for “The last damn time” | The Cubs Brickyard – Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog

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