Cash-Strapped Bart Starr Wondering How Much Packers Will Pay Him to Stay Retired

August 1, 2008

Bart Starr Packers Quarterback Autograph

(Green Bay, WI) – As soon as word broke that the Green Bay Packers had offered retired quarterback Brett Favre $20 million to stay retired and end further comeback drama, reactions exploded all across the country from both fans and detractors. Would he accept it? Is it enough? Too much?

But some reactions were far more personal.

When asked for his reaction while signing autographs for quick cash, former Green Bay Packers quarterback and current hall of famer Bart Starr had a unique reaction to the news: “Damn! How can I get me some of that?”

It seems the former superstar – and only player to quarterback a team to five NFL championships – has fallen on hard times after the failure of his drills video, “How Repetition Made Me a Starr! ..Actually Just ‘Star,’ I Was Already a ‘Starr’ Because That Was My Last Name ..But Seriously Repetition is Important.”

“So you’re telling me that the Packers are willing to pay a retired superstar quarterback $20 million to stay retired?” Starr struggled to comprehend. “Well hot dog, I need to get my old ass up to Green Bay. I’ll stay retired for half that!”

After it was explained to Starr that Favre’s situation is unique because of contract implications, because Favre is still in playing shape, and because Favre isn’t 104 years old.

Undeterred, Starr continued to wonder aloud for fifteen minutes how much the Packers would pay him to stay retired. Then Starr turned to the few onlookers who’d gathered – none of whom particularly wanted a $5 autograph – and wondered how much they would pay him to carry their groceries, or to “eat this booger.”


5 Responses to “Cash-Strapped Bart Starr Wondering How Much Packers Will Pay Him to Stay Retired”

  1. DaBears on August 1st, 2008 10:55 am

    He should take it or play for the Bears.

  2. grandpoobah on August 1st, 2008 12:45 pm

    Brett Farve needs to go away perminently.

  3. New York to Deal with Unwanted Media Attention as Brett Favre Arrives | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on August 7th, 2008 7:16 am

    [...] the bright side, struggling former Packer quarterback Bart Starr was excited to learn that there may be a job opening in Green [...]

  4. Carlton on September 1st, 2008 1:18 pm

    I would eat the booger for a 3 dollar bill, ya’ll!

  5. Reed Andrew on December 5th, 2012 6:55 pm

    Bryan Bartlet Starr stands out as more than the average Hall of Fame athlete. He represents the finest character and maintained the best attitude of any NFL figure in history. The saying among fans to whom honor and integrity mattered was that no matter what the final score of a game was, Starr was personally always a winner because he never lost his dignity and sense of decency on the field. While many successful quarterbacks have spoken unkindly about their team mates and blamed them if things didn’t go right, Bart was always a gentleman on and off the field. Poor pass protection with resultant multiple sacks in a game would make many quarterbacks speak angrily about perceived mistakes on the part of the offensive line; but not Bart. The worst he’d say back the huddle after such a play was, “Come on, guys.” Those responsible for the missed blocks leading to the sack would feel worse than if he’d been a hot head and said something mean.

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