MLB Uses Instant Replay to Repeatedly Oggle Erin Andrews
September 2, 2008
(Bristol, CT) – Last week, Major League Baseball instituted a limited version of instant replay. Home runs, fair or foul, and fan interference questions can now be reviewed using video replay. So far, Major League Baseball officials say, the program has been a rousing success.
Or an arousing success, depending on whom you ask.
The use of instant replay has been sporadic in its first week, but a review of its usage revealed an abnormally high percentage in games covered by ESPN. And more specifically, games where the “sideline” reporter is ESPN’s Erin Andrews.
It seems that review has not always been used to check out plays in the game, but instead is being used to repeatedly watch Erin Andrews as she gracefully strolls through the ballpark like some kind of iridescent gazelle with a healthy bosom.
“I knew something strange was going on when three of the umpires on my crew asked to review a ground ball to short to determine whether it left the ballpark,” an unnamed National League umpire said. “I thought it was perfectly clear that the ground ball had left the ballpark.”
The umpire said he caught his crew in the review booth watching Erin Andrews on a loop, and that since then, he’s caught them no fewer than six times – three of which were “particularly uncomfortable.”
Major League Baseball, at least formally, does not approve of the practice.
“We condemn the actions of those MLB umpires who are abusing instant replay to look at women in the ballpark,” MLB commissioner Bud Selig said Tuesday. “It is completely inappropriate to use the technology to stare at Erin Andrews’ body. Be it Erin Andrews’ beautiful face, her tight but bubbly ass, or Erin Andrews’ breasts. Amazing breasts. I’m sorry, excuse me. I need to go review a play or two.”
Some fear that the problem is growing, and is not limited to games involving Erin Andrews.
“I’ve seen officials reviewing plays all over the country so that they can stare at beautiful, scantily clad female fans,” an anonymous MLB source said. “From Anaheim to Tampa Bay, they’re doing it all over. Pretty much the only place it isn’t a concern is on the South Side of Chicago. Umpires have expressly refused to use instant replay there for fear of catching an unnecessary glimpse of an average White Sox fan.”
For our part here at the Brickyard, we think it is completely inappropriate and laughably immature when people use technological advancements as a platform to objectify women like this:
We would also never use a flimsy pretense to write an article just as an excuse to look at tons and tons of pictures of Erin Andrews. That would be wrong. Mmm. Wrong.