Cardinal Fans – Can We At Least Agree This is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports, oh, and You’re a Douchebag?

September 10, 2008

(St. Louis, MO) – Chicago Cubs fans and St. Louis Cardinal fans don’t agree on much.

And why should they? The two teams are locked in a battle in the National League, as they are many years, fighting it out for the Central crown or the NL Wildcard spot in the playoffs. But as we face each other in another bitter, crucial September series, maybe it’s time for us to bury the hatchet – and no, not into each other.

In the interest of building some concensus, and coming together with our NL Central brethren, I want to reach out to Cardinal fans today, right now. I think there is something, just one thing, out there that we can agree on.

Think about all of the great Cubs-Cardinals series’ you’ve seen. Think about all of the great Cubs-Cardinals games you’ve seen. The stories. The players. The history.

Yes, I think we can all agree on just one thing: This is the greatest rivalry in all of sports. And additionally, you’re a douchebag.

Forget Ohio State-Michigan. Forget Yankees-Red Sox. Forget UNC-Duke, USC-Notre Dame, Alabama-Auburn, Cowboys-Redskins, and any other you could come up with. The Chicago Cubs and the St. Louis Cardinals is the greatest rivalry in all of sports, and you, Cardinals fans, are a giant collective douchebag.

We can agree on that one simple thing, right?

I see you smiling smugly, thinking about last night’s comeback victory for the Cardinals. And that, right there just proves that one thing that we can agree on. The game was a microcosm of how incredible this rivalry is. And what a huge douchebag you are.

So yes, Cardinal fans. Come together with me. Though we will do battle for decades, and we can hate each other privately, let us together declare the ONE thing we can agree on.

The Cubs-Cardinals rivalry surpasses all others in sports. It is incredible to watch and be a small part of. And we’re glad to share it with each other.

And you’re a douchebag.

Just agree.


5 Responses to “Cardinal Fans – Can We At Least Agree This is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports, oh, and You’re a Douchebag?”

  1. Haden on September 10th, 2008 8:11 am

    Last night sucked. But this makes it slightly better.

  2. SoxFan4ever on September 12th, 2008 12:57 pm

    For you to actually write something this absurd(for one, calling the Cardinal fans a collective douchebag, and two, saying that their rivalry is the greatest ever), you must be blinded by the 100 years of futility the Cubs have suffered through.

    There are many other rivalries(you mentioned a few)which are much better and have a much richer history than the Cardinals-Cubs. And to say that they are locked in a National League Central battle many years is just ludacris. The Cubs rarely make the playoffs while the Cardinals are perennial contenders.

    Before you write something like this, do a little homework first. And to call a fan-base a “douchebag?” Well, that makes you the biggest douchebag of all.

  3. Ace on September 12th, 2008 6:44 pm

    Calling the collective fanbase “a” douchebag was part of the joke. Hear that *whoosh*?

    I’m just surprised you didn’t take the opportunity to say that the greatest rivalry in sports is White Sox fans v. Umpires.

  4. Chris on September 15th, 2008 3:11 pm

    Comments like those posted by SoxFan4ever are one of the reasons why I love coming back to your site. I’m willing to cast my vote for “Douchebag of the Year” for all your readers who missed the parody disclaimer on your site!

  5. Ace on September 15th, 2008 9:18 pm

    Thanks, Chris, and thanks for the support at your blog. We’ve linked you up here, and are happy to do it.

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