Cardinal Fans – Can We At Least Agree This is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports, oh, and You’re a Douchebag?
September 10, 2008
(St. Louis, MO) – Chicago Cubs fans and St. Louis Cardinal fans don’t agree on much.
And why should they? The two teams are locked in a battle in the National League, as they are many years, fighting it out for the Central crown or the NL Wildcard spot in the playoffs. But as we face each other in another bitter, crucial September series, maybe it’s time for us to bury the hatchet – and no, not into each other.
In the interest of building some concensus, and coming together with our NL Central brethren, I want to reach out to Cardinal fans today, right now. I think there is something, just one thing, out there that we can agree on.
Think about all of the great Cubs-Cardinals series’ you’ve seen. Think about all of the great Cubs-Cardinals games you’ve seen. The stories. The players. The history.
Yes, I think we can all agree on just one thing: This is the greatest rivalry in all of sports. And additionally, you’re a douchebag.
Forget Ohio State-Michigan. Forget Yankees-Red Sox. Forget UNC-Duke, USC-Notre Dame, Alabama-Auburn, Cowboys-Redskins, and any other you could come up with. The Chicago Cubs and the St. Louis Cardinals is the greatest rivalry in all of sports, and you, Cardinals fans, are a giant collective douchebag.
We can agree on that one simple thing, right?
I see you smiling smugly, thinking about last night’s comeback victory for the Cardinals. And that, right there just proves that one thing that we can agree on. The game was a microcosm of how incredible this rivalry is. And what a huge douchebag you are.
So yes, Cardinal fans. Come together with me. Though we will do battle for decades, and we can hate each other privately, let us together declare the ONE thing we can agree on.
The Cubs-Cardinals rivalry surpasses all others in sports. It is incredible to watch and be a small part of. And we’re glad to share it with each other.
And you’re a douchebag.