Geo Soto Officially Better than Geo Metro

September 19, 2008

cubs geo

(Chicago, IL) – There are moments in a player’s career that define how he will be perceived by history.

Kirk Gibson hobbling off the bench. Derek Jeter diving into the seats. Moises Alou peeing on his hands.

Well that moment may very well have happened yesterday for the Chicago Cubs’ young catcher Geovany Soto. When Soto hit a 3-run homer to tie the game in the bottom of the ninth with two outs against the Brewers yesterday, everyone knew for certain something they’d wondered and hoped for months: Geo Soto was finally, officially better than the Geo Metro.

“It was a huge day for us as a team, and for me personally,” Soto said after the game. “Living and playing in the shadow of someone else is never fun, even if it’s a small, awkward, boxy shadow that never really made much sense.”

That awkward shadow belongs to the Geo Metro, a member of the now defunct Geo car family and utility player for the Cubs. For months, when fans chanted the name “Geo, Geo,” everyone knew they were talking about Geo Metro. But yesterday, when screams of “GEO! GEO!” came from around the ballpark, for the first time, we all knew they were finally screaming for Soto.

Even Geo Metro was happy to admit that Soto had passed him in terms of popularity among Cubs fans and players.

“Geo Soto is a great guy, a great catcher, and a great player,” the crummy late-80s car said. “I really thought there would never be another Geo, let alone a better Geo. But here I sit, humbled by Geo Soto. That home run was amazing, and I never could have done that. Mostly because I’m a car, and I can’t swing a bat. Hell, I don’t even have hands. Actually, how am I talking to you, right now?”

But now that he is the least popular Geo in the league, is Geo Metro worried about finding work?

“Well, I still have some value as a utility player. And although I can’t hit, field, or run the bases worth crap, and I’d be much more valuable torn apart and sold for scraps, you could really say the same thing about Neifi Perez or Jose Macias. And those guys found work for years.”


One Response to “Geo Soto Officially Better than Geo Metro”

  1. g-lord on October 20th, 2010 8:19 pm

    how much you want to sell this 1994 car for

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