Rays Face Terrifying Prospect of Another Whole Decade Without a Championship

October 31, 2008

rays lose picture

(Tampa Bay, FL) – The Tampa Bay Rays failed to win the World Series.

Again.

In what is becoming a cruel joke, the Rays once again came up short in their bid to end an excruciating streak of heartbreaking seasons where they’ve gone home without a championship. Read more

Nervous Ryan Theriot Assures Derrek Lee He’s Voting for Barack Obama

October 29, 2008

Cubs Derrek Lee and Ryan Theriot

(Chicago, IL) – In less than a week, the United States will enter a new era. Tuesday is election day, and we’ll soon have a new President. Many hope it will be an era of change, of prosperity. Others hope it will be an era of stagnation and old balls. But we digress/editorialize.

The election is, of course, a far-reaching event, and the people of Chicago are not excluded. After all, Democratic candidate Barack Obama is the junior senator for the state of Illinois. So it is only natural that the political debate would penetrate walls all over the state – even the walls of Wrigley Field. Read more

Tim McCarver Enjoying His First Baseball Games in a Year

October 27, 2008

announcer tim mccarver

(Philadelphia, PA) – Along with his compatriot, Joe Buck, Tim McCarver is really enjoying announcing games on Fox this year. He says it is exhilirating, exciting, and it is what he lives for. He loves to talk baseball, and this gives him an opportunity to do it in front of the widest possible audience.

He says is also enjoying announcing these games because it’s given him a reason to actually watch a baseball game for the first time since the World Series last year. Read more

Joe Buck Inadvertently Refers to Cardinals 17 Times During Game 2 Broadcast

October 24, 2008

joe buck fox announcer

(Tampa, FL) – The Fall Classic is underway, and it brings us many things: drama, the crack of the bat, absurdly long commercial breaks, games that last until 2 a.m., and of course, the announcing duo of Tim McCarver and Joe Buck.

The two have become synonymous with the World Series in recent years, and they are usually both excellent. Well, except McCarver.

But last night, it was Joe Buck who struggled with the basics of announcing. Read more

A Cubs Fan’s 2008 World Series Preview

October 22, 2008

2008 world series logo

(Tampa, FL) – Hello friends. Name’s Timothy King, and I’m a huge Chicago Cubs fan. I was asked by the good folks at The Brickyard to provide a preview for this year’s World Series, and after a great deal of calming myself, I agreed.

Yes, of course, I’m sad that my Cubbies didn’t make the show this year, but baseball goes on, and I can be an adult. And be professional. This isn’t about the Cubs. It’s about this year’s World Series. Ok. So here is an impartial look at the upcoming Fall Classic. Read more

Stout Bears Defense Wins Defensive Battle with Defense

October 20, 2008

bears brian urlacher

(Chicago, IL) – For years, the calling card of the Chicago Bears has been its defense. A defense so vaunted that it struck fear in the hearts of opponents before they even took the field.

And like the fine wine, the Bears’ defense has only gotten better with age. They showed it once again yesterday, winning a defensive slugfest with fellow defensive stallwort, the Minnesota Vikings. Read more

10 Ways the Financial Crisis is Affecting the Chicago Cubs

October 17, 2008

chicago cubs financial crisis

(Chicago, IL) – The recent financial crisis and subsequent avalanche in the stock market has left a myriad of victims in its wake. From Wall Street investment banks like Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers, to Main Street banks like the Chicago Central Credit Union and Big Earl’s Bucks ‘n Stuff, institutions nationwide have been deeply affected.

And unfortunately for sports fans everywhere, our favorite franchises are not going to be able to avoid the impact. Some are already feeling the squeeze, like our Chicago Cubs. Read more

Pacman Jones Victim of NFL’s Draconian “Eight Strikes and You’re Out” Rule

October 15, 2008

pacman jones cowboys

(Dallas, TX) – Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended indefinitely by the NFL following an alcohol-related scuffle involving his bodyguard just 41 days after he was reinstated to the league.

The suspension could run as short as four games, or could be permanent. The severity of the punishment, some say, underscores how out of touch the league is with modern times. After just a couple handfuls of missteps, Jones could be out of the NFL for good. Read more

Chicago Bears Can Name that Tune, Lose that Game in 11 Seconds

October 13, 2008

(Atlanta, GA) – On Sunday, trailing by nine points late into the fourth quarter against the Atlanta Falcons, the Chicago Bears decided it was time to put an incredibly special talent on display.

No, it wasn’t the furious comeback that saw the Bears take a one point lead with just 11 seconds left.

It was the impressive ability to somehow lose the game in those 11 seconds. Read more

Northsider Casually Reminding Everyone That White Sox Lost, Too

October 10, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – “So how about those playoffs, huh?” northside resident Tim Beckwith asks the cashier as his area Walgreens.

“Yeah, it was a tough one. There’s always next year for our Cubbies, though,” the cashier responds.

“Sure. Sure. You know, though, that the, um, White Sox lost in the playoffs, too,” Beckwith says casually as he takes his bag and strolls out the door. Read more

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