A Cubs Fan’s 2008 World Series Preview

October 22, 2008

2008 world series logo

(Tampa, FL) – Hello friends. Name’s Timothy King, and I’m a huge Chicago Cubs fan. I was asked by the good folks at The Brickyard to provide a preview for this year’s World Series, and after a great deal of calming myself, I agreed.

Yes, of course, I’m sad that my Cubbies didn’t make the show this year, but baseball goes on, and I can be an adult. And be professional. This isn’t about the Cubs. It’s about this year’s World Series. Ok. So here is an impartial look at the upcoming Fall Classic.

First things first. The teams. Well, from the American League, there’s the Tampa Bay Rays. A young, inexperienced, lucky, average talent level team. People keep talking about how impressive their story is, you know, making the show with all these young guys.

Yeah, real impressive. Suck huge balls since your inception, draft in the top 5 for over 10 years, and I’d say the last few years where they were terrible were far more impressive than this year. Having that much raw talent and still losing 90 games? That’s impressive.

And boy did they have to wait a long time to make the World Series. Lucky bastards. Oh, look at me, I’ve been in the league for like 10 freaking years and then boom, I’m in the show. Forget you, clown. I mean, whatever. I’m not bitter.

Then you got the Philadelphia Phillies. I don’t really know much about the Phillies, other than the fact that they don’t completely suck. They got lucky as hell with Cole Hamels, and they sure disposed of the Los Angeles Dodgers pretty easily. Thanks, Dodgers, by the way. Way to show up for the NLCS. Glad that you saved all your super ability for the NLDS and then completely sucked thereafter. Way to go. Whatever. It’s fine, it’s fine.

Another thing, is that I’m really glad that Scott Eyre is getting to play in the World Series for the Phillies, after being dumped by the Cubs. It’s really great that he figured out how to pitch again once he left the Cubs. Really great. Figured out how not to suck donkey dong. Good for him.

So anyway – ok, breathe, Tim – these two teams will square off starting tonight in the greatest, most exciting event in all of sports. And they totally deserve it. No really. I’m happy for all their fans, because they’re going to get to see something really special. And I hope they cherish it.

Oh, who will win? X’s and O’s? Am I really supposed to talk about that stuff? Oh.

Well I have no freaking clue. I can’t take it. Screw those bastards. I hope the stadium explodes. Like my heart has. God I hate them all. I got a two word preview for you: [Expletive deleted] YOU!

Thanks, Tim. That was very… informative. As a special treat for our readers, we were also able to locate a White Sox fan to preview the World Series from his perspective. Enjoy.

Whattup cubsSUCK fans!?! Im Joe – yes you can call me joesixpack if youw ant. Im here to talk about the world SEries and heres my preveiw.

The Philies are pretty ok, good pitching and hitting and stuff but they would get STOMPEPED by the WHITE SOX!!!!1!!!1!!! Ozzie would manage all over they’re faces.

The DEVIL rays SUUUUUCK. they got luck as SH*T in the playoffs and a BEETER team should be there that could actually WIN the series. Woot!!!one!!!!1!!!

The best only thing i no about the world series is that the sCrUBS will neverbe their!!!! I hope they cry and they will becuse they no they are the WORST taem in CHICAGO BABY!!!!! sammy sosa was a cheater suck bet you didnt realize that untl now DO YOU!?!?!?///!??

just keep wishin you had OZZIE! but you dONT! SOX BABY WOOT!!!WOOT

Joe out

Comments

2 Responses to “A Cubs Fan’s 2008 World Series Preview”

  1. Eddie on October 28th, 2008 11:58 pm

    Some of these White Sox jokes are getting stale. Just because some people root for a team on a less privileged part of town, they’re apparently illiterate? *sigh* If there were ever thoughts that watching the Cubs get swept is becoming old, this site definitely changes that perspective.

  2. Ace on October 29th, 2008 7:18 am

    I appreciate your perspective, Eddie – because obviously you are a smart, literate Sox fan – but the thing is… this is a parody site. Thus, we have to make fun of *something.* We’re not saying all Sox fans are idiots, but check out a Sox message board. Some are. Some drool.

    Please note that we regularly make fun of the Cubs and Cubs fans. Just sayin’.

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