Rays Face Terrifying Prospect of Another Whole Decade Without a Championship
October 31, 2008
(Tampa Bay, FL) – The Tampa Bay Rays failed to win the World Series.
In what is becoming a cruel joke, the Rays once again came up short in their bid to end an excruciating streak of heartbreaking seasons where they’ve gone home without a championship.
It is hard to fathom, but it has been more than a decade – that’s more than ten long years – since the Rays have been playing in MLB without winning a championship. It is a hard streak to accept for the players as well as management.
“I’m not sure what else to do at this point,” General Manager Andrew Friedman said after his Rays lost the World Series in just five games to the Philadelphia Phillies. “I mean, hell, we made sure to be god-awful for like nine years so that we could draft high and stock the team with home-grown talent.”
Some of the players are more optimistic, though will still a hint of sadness.
“Fortunately I’m just starting out in my career, so I should have plenty of chances,” rookie superstar Evan Longoria, not to be confused with former hotty turned fat chick Eva Longoria, said. “The average player gets to what, like six, seven World Series per decade? So yeah, I figure we’ll win at least fifteen championships in my career. It still stings to lose this one, though.”
And the fans. Oh the fans. The Rays have literally hundreds of fans who come out to three or four or even five games a year, and they are heartbroken.
“I don’t really know what to do at this point,” Larry Pilo said after the Series ended. “I keep pouring my heart and my soul into this team, and they just keep letting me down. I don’t know how much longer I can do it.”
“We keep telling ourselves ‘there’s always next year,’” Pilo went on, “but it just feels so far away. When you haven’t won [a championship] for over a decade, you start to really wonder. Is it going to be another whole decade? Two? I mean, three seems ridiculous, but maybe.”
Though it seems like the Rays have played without winning a championship forever, there are actually teams that have gone longer without winning. One such team is the Chicago Cubs.
And their fans issued a press release, hoping to share their feelings with Rays’ fans about being winless for a while.”
The release read simply: “Dear Rays fans – Kindly lick our balls. Sincerely, Cubs fans.”