Trent Green Looking for Job as Bears’ Quarterback

November 24, 2008

(St. Louis, MO) – The Chicago Bears bounced back from an embarrassing defeat last week at the hands of the rival Packers, as they crushed the hapless St. Louis Rams on Sunday afternoon. It was needed, valuable, and solid victory.

But one St. Louis Ram wants the Bears to know they couldn’t have done it without him.

Early in the game, the Bears knocked out Rams’ starting quarterback Marc Bulger after a brutal hit. In came backup Trent Green, and he says he had a plan from the beginning.

“Of course my first thought was to win the game for the Rams,” Green said. “But it became quickly apparent that that was going to be impossible. So I decided to showcase my skills, individually.”

That’s when Green began throwing pass after pass to the Chicago Bears, something he says he did on purpose. Green had four interceptions on the day, all in the second half on consecutive possessions.

“Interceptions? What are you talking about? Those were completions. I was throwing to the Bears, and my passes were perfect.”

But why would Green be throwing passes to the opponent on purpose? He says it’s because he wants to be a Chicago Bear.

“Look, I think Kyle Orton is a swell guy, and Rex Grossman is sexy as hell. But the fact is, I’m an experienced veteran, ready to lead a team to the playoffs. That team obviously isn’t going to be the Rams, so I thought I would show off my talents to the Bears.”

“I don’t want to be a Ram. Jesus, nobody wants to be a Ram. Doesn’t it say something that I’d rather be a Chicago Bear than a Ram? But anyway, I think I showed I have what it takes to make crucial second half completions to Chicago Bears players. If you’re listening, call me. Or kill me. Either way, I gotta get off this team.”

But what about all of those passes he completed to his Rams teammates?

“Oh, those. Well those were just bad throws.”


5 Responses to “Trent Green Looking for Job as Bears’ Quarterback”

  1. Trent Green on November 24th, 2008 8:25 am

    Marc Bulger was the lucky one.

  2. richard on November 24th, 2008 4:08 pm

    wow if this doesnt kick em off the team what will

  3. Clapp on November 24th, 2008 10:24 pm

    LOL awesome

  4. Carlton on November 27th, 2008 12:45 am

    no disclaimers anymore?

  5. Ace on November 28th, 2008 2:19 pm

    Eh. There’s a sitewide disclaimer.

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