Sammy Sosa Wants to Come Back, Teams Question His Playing Shape

December 31, 2008

(Miami, FL) – This offseason has already seen contracts dolled out for the older crew in MLB. Randy Johnson, 45, just signed with the Giants, and 46-year-old Jamie Moyer just got a two-year deal with the Phillies. So if old is the new young, why is 40-year-old former superstar slugger Sammy Sosa having such trouble getting a deal?

Some say it is his age and declining skillset. Some say it is his me-first attitude. But others point to certain rule changes that occurred in the twilight of Sosa’s career that have limited his, um, physique. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Baseball | 5 Comments

Bears Spare Fans Playoff Misery By Skipping Playoffs

December 29, 2008

(Houston, TX) – The Chicago Bears entered Sunday, the last week of the regular season, with an excellent chance of making the playoffs. But after a 31-24 loss to the Houston Texans, the Bears found themselves squarely on the outside of the playoff picture looking in.

And that’s exactly where they wanted to be. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Football | Leave a Comment

Jim Hendry Asks for Jake Peavy for Christmas – Result is Humorous, Disasterous

December 24, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Christmastime. It’s a time for carols, hot cocoa, candy canes, and Christmas parties. It’s also a time for giving and receiving thoughtful gifts that try to capture just what the other person was looking for.

Chicago Cubs general manager Jim Hendry was looking forward to Christmas. But when he told friends and family what he really wanted for Christmas, he probably could have phrased it a bit more artfully. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs | 1 Comment

On Verge of Winless Season, Lions Face Mercury Morris Rap

December 22, 2008

(Detroit, MI) – It’s no secret that the city of Detroit has had a terrible year. Jobs are scare. The American automobile industry is on the verge of collapse.

And the Detroit Lions are 0-15.

With one more loss, the city of Detroit’s misery in 2008 will be complete. And the team will have done something just one other team managed to “accomplish”: a perfectly winless season. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Football | Leave a Comment

New Children’s Book “Where’s Soriano” Not Exactly This Year’s Tickle Me Elmo

December 19, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – Each year there is a special toy that every kid has to have for Christmas. They fly off the shelves leaving parents desperate and struggling to satisfy their child’s requests.

This year, we’re not quite sure what that special item is. But we know what it’s not. It isn’t the new book, “Where’s Soriano?” from Chicago Cubs Publishing. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs | 2 Comments

Sorry Mike Fontenot, There’s No Way Those Are Megan Fox’s Panties

December 17, 2008

Megan Fox bra

(Chicago, IL) – Mike Fontenot is a great hitter. A versatile fielder. A good teammate. A scrapper. A friend. A Chicago Cubs fan favorite. Yes, Mike Fontenot is many things.

But a ladies man is not one of them.

That’s why when the diminutive second baseman told teammates that he was dating the world’s hottest woman, Megan Fox, nobody believed him. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs | 16 Comments

Lacking Crazy in the Offense, Cubs Go After Milton Bradley

December 15, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – The 2008 hot stove is blazing, and although recent efforts to land Jake Peavy proved fruitless, the Chicago Cubs are still looking to add to their already loaded roster. The Cubs have excellent pitching – both powerful and crafty. And their offense offers a tremendous combination of power and on-base ability.

But after a disappointing 2008 campaign that ended in a playoff sweep, the Cubs must regroup and take stock. Is the rotation really that good? Is the offense really that capable? Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs | Leave a Comment

“We Got Wood” Tee Shirt Vendor Ponders His Future

December 12, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – From the first day he took the mound for the Chicago Cubs, fans knew Kerry Wood was special. Whether it was his blazing fastball, his sharp breaking slider, or his quiet confidence, there was just something about Kerry Wood. We all knew it, and we all knew that no matter what happened, he’d always be a Chicago Cub.

Until one day, he wasn’t.

And boy does it hurt. But it’s hurting local fan Reggie Lloyd perhaps more than most. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs | 5 Comments

Derrick Rose on Stabbing Self: I just wanted be like Plax

December 10, 2008

(Chicago, IL) – The sports world’s history is full of baffling injury stories, from the silly to the downright unbelievable. Be it slipping in the shower, breaking ribs while sneezing, cracking a collarbone while loading deer meat, or suffering a man sprain when the hooker flinches, we’ve all been there.

But now the bizarre injury bug has bit the Chicago Bulls. In fact, he took a big bite out of young star Derrick Rose‘s forearm. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under Basketball | 14 Comments

There’s Doin’s A-Happenin’

December 8, 2008

You’re probably wondering what the heck a non-fake-news post is doing here. Well, it’s pretty rare that we stoop to the level of “serious” blogs, and post something that is not fake.

But this is a special occasion. There are some pretty big things happening here at The Brickyard, and we wanted to make sure all (three) of our readers know about them. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | Leave a Comment