Cubs Teammates Sad to See Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa’s Wives Leave

January 2, 2009

heidi miller sexy

(Cleveland, OH) – There’s been a lot of turnover on the Chicago Cubs already this offseason. The change has come not only in the new arrivals, but also in some guys leaving that many fans thought would never leave. Most notably, Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa.

Teammates were understandably distraught to see them leave, because they have really, really hot wives.

The Cubs decided to let Kerry Wood walk away in free agency, and he subsequently signed with the Cleveland Indians. Then this week, the team traded Mark DeRosa away, also to Cleveland. And the team will never be the same.

“Am I going to miss Kerry’s toughness at the end of the game and Mark’s versatility?” pondered Ryan Theriot. “Of course. But mostly, I’m going to miss their wives’ hot asses. Ok, ok, I’ll miss Mark’s hot ass, too.”

“Yup, I’m sad to see Heidi and Sarah leave, but I love to watch them go. See what I did right there?”

mark derosa hot wife

Others agreed.

“When I heard the news that Kerry was walking and Mark had been traded, I literally cried,” pitcher Ted Lilly said. “Do you know what their wives wear in the hot Chicago summer? And I need that in my life, man. I’m a busy major league ballplayer. It’s not like I can just get hot chicks to stare at any time I want.”

“I know the guys are upset,” General Manager Jim Hendry said. “But strictly speaking, I only traded Mark to the Indians, and only Kerry signed with the Indians. Sarah and Heidi are free to stay here in Chicago. I can’t, of course, make them stay. Legally.”

For their part, the Indians are very excited at their new additions.

“We’re very excited to add such incredible talents,” Indians General Manager Mark Shapiro said. “Heidi and Sarah are smoking hot. I’m not going to lie. I’m not one hundred percent certain I even know what positions Wood and DeRosa play. We just needed to get some hotties in here to spice things up. I mean. Have you ever been to Cleveland?”


7 Responses to “Cubs Teammates Sad to See Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa’s Wives Leave”

  1. Carlton on January 2nd, 2009 9:07 pm

    I am so sad. I will have to watch Cleveland games now.

  2. Cliff on January 5th, 2009 12:16 am

    LOL, hilarious post man.

  3. Ace on January 5th, 2009 9:44 pm

    Thanks, Cliff. We try.

  4. The Cublogoverse is Getting Political | Bleacher Nation | Chicago Cubs News, Rumors, and Commentary on January 13th, 2009 3:23 pm

    [...] of doing it. Personally, I’d be more likely to protest the fact that Jim Hendry’s moves shipped Mrs. Wood and Mrs. DeRosa off to Cleveland, but that’s just [...]

  5. Cubs Trade Felix Pie’s Twisted Testicle and PTBNL to Orioles | The Cubs Brickyard - Chicago Cubs Jokes, Sports Parody News, and Blog on January 20th, 2009 8:30 am

    [...] traded Mark DeRosa (and his hot wife), signed Milton Bradley, traded Jason Marquis, let Kerry Wood walk. As busy as they’ve been, [...]

  6. Noble on April 1st, 2009 5:14 am

    Hey! The babes are here! This is my favorite site to visit. I make sure I am alone in case I get too hot. Post your favorite link here.

  7. heidar on January 12th, 2012 1:52 pm

    i love hot and beautiful asses

Got something to say?

You must be logged in to post a comment.