Jim Hendry on Marquis Trade: Oh Shit, That’s Luis Vizcaino?

January 7, 2009

luis vizcaino

(Chicago, IL) – It’s been a busy offseason already for Chicago Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry. He’s had to make difficult decisions about Cubs free agents like Kerry Wood, and had to work out complex trades like the Mark DeRosa deal. Just yesterday, the Cubs announced that they had traded starter Jason Marquis and cash to the Colorado Rockies for reliever Luis Vizcaino.

With so much going on, it is understandable if Hendry gets a bit confused in some of his dealings.

Though Hendry was pleased to be rid of Marquis’ contract for this year, he was a bit surprised and disappointed at the return.

“Yes, I meant to trade Jason Marquis,” Hendry said. “We need to free up some payroll space. But, I guess I was a little mistaken as to the guy we were getting back.”

What does Hendry mean? Who was he expecting?

“This, well, it’s embarrassing. I showed up at the airport to pick up our newest player, and I was holding one of those white signs that said ‘Luis Vizcaino,’ and this dude comes up and is trying to talk to me. I thought he was trying to get an autograph or maybe a couple bucks, so I kept pushing him away. That’s when one of my assistants explained to me that this guy was Luis Vizcaino. I was speechless.”

Hendry was speechless because Colorado Rockies reliever Luis Vizcaino was not the man he expected.

“I thought he was a pinch hitter specialist. You know the guy I’m talking about. Was a young guy with the Cubs, but then became a freaking Cub killer with the Astros and some other teams. Luis Vizcaino. That’s the guy I wanted.”

Jose Vizcaino Astros

Hendry’s confusion is understandable. Jose Luis Vizcaino was indeed a pinch hitter and intermittent starter for many teams, including the Cubs and Astros, but he retired three years ago.

“I just thought he could be a veteran presence and a switch hitter off the bench. I’m trying to corner the market on switch hitters. I’ve got a great one in Milton Bradley, an overrated one in Aaron Miles, and I needed an old, crummy, crusty veteran one to complete the set.”

“I wanted to dump Marquis, but why would I want a right handed reliever back? We have a bajillion of them, and we certainly don’t need another old, overpaid, crappy one. I mean, we just got rid of Bobby Howry, for crying out loud.”

Hendry plans to take a West Coast swing next week in search of Jose Vizcaino.

“I get the get the man I want. Jose/Luis, if you’re out there, man, give me a call.”


3 Responses to “Jim Hendry on Marquis Trade: Oh Shit, That’s Luis Vizcaino?”

  1. JIM on January 7th, 2009 6:00 pm

    are you serious jim hendry actually thought that? boy i do wish we can hae that one back.

  2. Butcher on January 8th, 2009 1:15 pm

    Maybe Jim could trade for Valentin and then put him out to pasture. Of course, without Wood on our staff, Valentin isn’t quite so dangerous anymore…

  3. The Chicago Cubs: a dirty bomb « Over the line, Smokey! on August 28th, 2009 3:14 pm

    [...] And of course they disposed of a real leader in jack-of-all-trades Mark DeRosa. Not to mention booting Jason Marquis, key to the Rockies’ surge, in exchange for the forgettable (and forgotten) Luis [...]

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