Lou Piniella Spends Offseason With Adopted Inner-City Black Child

January 28, 2009

lou piniella and webster

(Chicago, IL) – This offseason for the Cubs has been filled with rumors about Jake Peavy, big trades, and even a new owner. But even in the busiest of offseasons, there is still a lot of time to fill for those in the employ of Major League Baseball teams.

That’s why Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella decided to give back this offseason, and do what all old, rich, white men should do: he adopted an adorable, inner-city African American child.

When his housekeeper suddenly passed away in late November, Piniella took it upon himself to adopt her orphaned son, Manny Lewis.

“Something about it just felt right,” Piniella said. “You know, I was set in my ways and losing track of the days with only me to live for. I had no need to give more than I wanted to. But then came Manny. He reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook. Never thought forever was the best I could do.”

The duo have spent the offseason getting to know each other and having fun all over town. Piniella says he has really taken a shine to Manny, despite their many differences – differences, he says, that often lead to comical circumstances.

“Sometimes Manny doesn’t understand something I’m saying, and he asks me what I’m talking about. It’s adorable. Of course sometimes he’s serious, because I’m making no sense. We work it out.”

“After all, it is just such a zany circumstance, isn’t it?”

In time, Piniella says the two have come to have a mutual respect and understanding for one another, if not love. That respect and understanding has helped them overcome their differences, and has turned what was once an interesting household into a pretty standard American home.

“Actually, in some ways, it’s become quite boring here by the end of the offseason,” Piniella said. “But I’ve recently hired a cheeky English butler, and my cousin from the island of Mypos is coming for an extended visit. So that should spice things up a bit.”

But Manny will remain at the core of the household, Piniella says.

“Some people have criticized me as paternalistic, perpetuating stereotypes, and things like that. But you know, in the end, it’s just different strokes for different folks. And it takes different strokes to move the world.”


2 Responses to “Lou Piniella Spends Offseason With Adopted Inner-City Black Child”

  1. The Cublogoverse is All About Parody | Bleacher Nation | Chicago Cubs News, Rumors, and Commentary on January 28th, 2009 11:28 am

    [...] Lou Piniella Spends Offseason with Adopted, Inner-City Black Child – The Cubs Brickyard [...]

  2. Clapp on January 29th, 2009 11:47 pm

    Lol great pic.

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