Carlos Zambrano Disappointed, Troubled to Learn Secret Admirer is Geovany Soto

February 13, 2009

zambrano-admirer(Mesa, AZ) – This weekend is incredibly special for two reasons. First, of course, is that pitchers and catchers are reporting to spring training, and the 2009 baseball season is getting underway. But second, and only slightly less exciting, is Valentine’s Day.

Usually a subdued event around the Cubs’ Mesa workout facilities, this year Cupid’s arrow is striking right at the heart of the team. And the results are as scary as they are sweet.

Though pitchers and catchers weren’t due to report until today, many showed up early, including Chicago Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. And when he did arrive, Big Z had a gift waiting for him.

“At first it was very exciting,” Zambrano said. “I got this chocolate basket and bottle of champagne. It had kisses all over it, you know, with lipstick, and it said it was from my secret admirer. It said really wonderful things about me.”

But as the day went on, and more gifts rolled in, Zambrano grew suspicious.

“Well, I started to think about it. The only people who had access to the clubhouse were the players and the staff, and when I got the last gift, a single rose, the staff had all already left. In fact, the only people left were Geovany Soto and Aaron Heilman.”

Zambrano said he knew Heilman couldn’t have been involved because “he just got here, and he hasn’t had time to get to know how truly incredible I am.” That’s when he said he knew the gifts had come from Soto.

“It was obviously disappointing, but also a little troubling. Some of the stuff he wrote. It was pretty graphic.”

Zambrano said he confronted Soto about the gifts, and Soto did not deny it.

“No, he admitted that he was my secret admirer. He said that he’d always thought I was a great player and friend. He said he really enjoyed being the catcher to my pitcher, but he said it in such a way. Well, I think you know.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I get the whole latin flavor thing. The two of us together could be hot. But we’re teammates, you know? Oh, and I like women. Women.”

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