ESPN Concludes Yankees Will Win National League Central

April 6, 2009

(Bristol, CT) – It’s here. It’s finally here.

Opening Day, and all the wonder that comes with it. Peanuts, cracker jacks, cripplingly overpriced tickets. And of course, it brings out all the prognosticators. Who will win the MVP? Who will be a break out star? Who will win it all?

Sports network monolith ESPN recently went about making its predictions for the 2009 baseball season. Some predictions were to be expected, but some others were a bit more surprising.

ESPN’s baseball tonight, featuring inspired commentary from John Kruk, set about making its predictions for the upcoming season last night. The crew began by predictably predicting that the leading contenders to win the World Series all come from the American League East – the New York Yankees, the Boston Red Sox, and the reigning AL champions, the Tampa Bay Rays.

But then the predictions got a little more interesting.

The analysts bounced around the Major Leagues, predicting various divisions. When they arrived at the National League Central, Chicago Cubs fans’ ears perked up to hear all about how the team is set to dominate. The question of who would win the NL Central went to new commentator Dave Winfield, and his response?

“The Chicago Cubs look solid this year, but I don’t think they’ll have enough in the bullpen to overcome the Yankees in the Central.”

Alarmingly, the rest of the Baseball Tonight crew agreed.

“The Cubs will have trouble replacing the versatility of Mark DeRosa,” Tim Kurkijan said. “And when you’re going head to head with the Yankees for a divsion crown, you need a really deep bench.”

“Alex Rodriguez’s absence, the aging core of the team, and the fact that the Yankees do not play in the NL Central is not going to stop them,” John Kruk concurred. “They signed Mark Teixiera. They’re unstoppable.”

The AL East dominance did not end there.

After giving the AL Cy Young award to Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett, analyst Peter Gammons concluded Beckett would also win the award for the National League. Gammons also predicted that Dustin Pedroia would repeat as American League MVP, would win a Silver Slugger award in the National League, and would also be awarded the Stanley Cup.

The Baltimore Orioles did not fare as well – the team was picked to finish last in the AL East, the AL West, the NL East, and the MGCA Greater Baltimore Girls Tennis Association Cup.


3 Responses to “ESPN Concludes Yankees Will Win National League Central”

  1. Josh on April 6th, 2009 10:39 pm

    What’s up with the Baseball Tonight graphic from 1995?

  2. Ace on April 7th, 2009 8:21 pm

    Haha. I liked that one the best…

  3. Dylan on May 3rd, 2009 12:37 am

    This seems like something the tards at espn would do lol

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