Jake Fox: “Oh, the Cubs have offensive woes? I couldn’t tell from all the way here in Iowa.”

June 11, 2009

(Houston, TX) – Another day, another pathetic offensive showing by the Chicago Cubs.

After back to back 2-1 losses to the hapless Houston Astros, and a stretch of offensive misery before that, the Cubs are looking for answers, and largely coming up empty. And when they look for help in their farm system, all they get back is a possibly sarcastic response.

Cubs youngster Jake Fox has been one of the hottest hitters in all of the minor leagues this year. The slumping Cubs could probably use his bat in their lineup, but Fox has been held back by some defensive limitations.

“The coaches said I would be equally good at any position,” Fox says with a smile, the point clearly lost on him. “So, obviously I’m doing something right.”

When Fox got the call to join the Cubs two weeks ago, it presumably was those very defensive issues the led to his quick demotion, despite hitting over .400 with the team. But the Cubs’ offense is sputtering so badly right now, doesn’t Fox think his demotion was improvident? That the Cubs could use his bat?

“Oh, the Cubs have offensive woes?” Fox asked with a hint of knowing. “I couldn’t tell from all the way here in Iowa.”

“We don’t really get a whole lot of Cubs games out here, so I don’t really know what’s going on with them,” Fox went on to say. “Plus, I’m usually so busy crushing the opposition on a nightly basis that it’s tough to keep up,” he remarked as he kissed his sizeable biceps, first the left, then the right.

“Maybe I’ll check out their game tomorrow if I get done hitting bombs in time.”


One Response to “Jake Fox: “Oh, the Cubs have offensive woes? I couldn’t tell from all the way here in Iowa.””

  1. Nati on June 15th, 2009 8:09 am

    Hitting in the minor leagues is like being a punter in the NFL. Anyone can do it if they just train for six months.

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