Paparazzi Catch Ted Lilly on the Town with New Girlfriend

June 18, 2009

ted-lilly-smurfett(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs are mired in an offensive slump, and a terrible month overall. Still, the starting pitching has remained excellent – the best in baseball for quite a stretch.

The shining star of the group is left-hander Ted Lilly, who has brought his ERA all the way under three. Lilly has always been a solid starter, but he’s never been one that folks would consider the ace of a staff. So what’s his secret this year?

Aggressive paparazzi may have discovered the secret late last night when Lilly was out on the town. And he wasn’t alone.

Lilly was spotted outside a trendy nightclub with a pretty young thing on his arm. A pretty young… blue thing. Ted Lilly, it seems, is dating Smurfette.

Though Lilly later denied anything was going on between the two, those present said the couple had a happy air about them that comes with a new relationship. Others claimed they heard Lilly remark that “Gargamel really broke the mold with this one.”

Lilly’s teammates are happy as long as he keeps performing well, but still, they’re surprised.

“Well, I mean, I think Ted’s happily married,” catcher Geovany Soto said. “And this chick, she’s like, blue. And a cartoon. And not real. That’s just a tough combination to swallow. That’s what she said. Sorry. Habit.”

“The other thing is, I don’t know that she actually puts out. You ever see that show? She was the only chick in town, and she was still just a tease. Ted better be careful or he’s going to end up with blue balls. See what I did there?”


2 Responses to “Paparazzi Catch Ted Lilly on the Town with New Girlfriend”

  1. Nati on June 19th, 2009 9:17 pm

    I totally would let her smurf me and then smurf all over her face.

  2. Ace on June 19th, 2009 9:45 pm


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