Cedric Benson Really Shows Bears – That He Was a Lazy Douche in Chicago

October 26, 2009

(Cincinnati, OH) – As his new team, the surprising Cincinnati Bengals, jumped all over his old team in a 45-10 drubbing, running back Cedric Benson could only smile.

It had been a long road for the formerly troubled back out of Texas. Drafted in the first round with lofty expectations, Benson was never able to put it all together in Chicago after a rookie year holdout, minor but troublesome injuries, and off-the-field incidents.

But he stood on the sidelines Sunday with his new team, glaring over at the team that let him go the year before. Yes, he thought. I just showed them. Showed them all the talent I have but was far too lazy and cantankerous to use for them.“I was just glad to get the opportunity to really stick it to the Bears,” Benson said after the game, where he continued his surprising 2009 campaign, which has seen him rise to the top of the league. “I came to the Bears with the right attitude – you know, a sense of unearned entitlement. And I made sure to work half as hard as I could to become a pretty ok running back.”

“And then, they went and traded my best buddy Thomas Jones just when we were getting along,” Benson continued. “They’ve still never explained it to me.”

“In short, they gave me chance after chance, and I blew them all. And then I blew it on a boat. And then they released me. Unbelievable, right?”

That’s why the win was so special, Benson explained.

“Finally, I was able to show the Bears what they are missing. A motivated, interested, and engaged Cedric Benson. Yup, I really showed them.”

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