Milton Bradley Starting to Feel Unwelcome

November 24, 2009

(Chicago, IL) – This time last year, the middle of the Chicago Cubs lineup was in need of a boost. General Manager Jim Hendry had several options available – Raul Ibanez, Adam Dunn, and Bobby Abreu, to name a few. But those players simply didn’t bring to the table what Hendry believed the Cubs truly needed.

Conspiracy-spoutin’, eyeball-poppin’, cat-eatin’ craziness. So Hendry checked the stat sheets, and went with a sure thing: Milton Bradley. And Bradley brought his A-game to the Cubs, who were grateful for providing a spark.

But after a year in Chicago, Milton Bradley says he’s starting to get the impression that he’s not wanted anymore.

“I can’t quite put my finger on it,” Bradley explained this week as Chicagoans passed by, just missing Bradley with their gum. “And I’m trying not to be all paranoid. Because, well, I’m all kinds of nuts, so paranoia is a thing I just have to control. But I can’t shake the feeling that folks around town aren’t thrilled to have me anymore.”

Bradley’s concerns are probably well-founded. After a season of obstinence, laziness, and tirades culminated in public criticism of the Cubs, his teammates, and Chicago fans, Bradley is not particularly well liked. That he is just now getting the picture is the real surprise.

“What? People didn’t like me before now?” Bradley asked, genuinely surprised. “That’s bananas. I don’t accept that. This is clearly a recent phenomenon. I mean, just a few weeks ago, I passed a guy in a Cubs jersey on the street, and he said he was going to [expletive] me. Now that’s a fan.”

“So as I was saying, in the last few days, I’m picking up on something. There are even very quiet wispers that the Cubs might be trying to trade me. Me! It’s of course ridiculous, but still, it gets me a little nervous.”

“Fortunately, there aren’t enough top quality prospects in the world for the Cubs to be willing to be give me up.”

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