Cubs Sign Marisa Miller to be New Center Fielder and Designated Distraction

December 28, 2009

marisa-miller-cubs(Chicago, IL) – The offseason has started inauspiciously for the Chicago Cubs. After much ballyhoo surrounding the expected trade of Milton Bradley, the Cubs have done little else to better themselves in advance of the 2010 season.

But Cubs general manager Jim Hendry hopes that will change soon, with the long-awaited addition of a new center fielder. Still, the choice has left many pundits scratching their heads. And adjusting their trousers. Read more

Randy Wells Concerned to Learn that Carlos Zambrano is His Secret Santa

December 16, 2009


(Chicago, IL) – The holiday season is squarely upon us, and even the Chicago Cubs, coming off a brutally disappointing 2009 season, are full of the Christmas spirit. Among other festivities, the team, as it does every year, is participating in a Secret Santa gift exchange.

Candies and packages tied up with strings – the players truly go all out for each other at this time of year. But not every Cub is excited about giving and receiving gifts. For just as the exchange is an annual tradition, so too is it a tradition that the player receiving gifts from pitcher Carlos Zambrano is bound to be disappointed at best – and terrified at worst. Read more

Eager to Return to Relevance, Sammy Sosa Repeatedly Crashes Car into Hydrant, Tree

December 6, 2009

sammy-crash(Porta Rosa, D.R.) – It was not that long ago that Sammy Sosa was the most famous player on the Chicago Cubs, if not in all of baseball. His big arms, long home runs and winning smile captivated fans.

But after diminished performance, steroid allegations, and a boombox incident sapped Sosa of his fame in Chicago, the man has toiled in relative obscurity. That doesn’t mean he’s not still trying to get back in the limelight. Read more