Geovany Soto Bit By Dreaded ‘Redbook’ Curse

May 15, 2011

(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs are mired in an early season slump, and there doesn’t appear to be much help coming from outside sources. No, we don’t mean a surprise signing or early-season trade. We mean from the supernatural forces associated with magazine curses.

First, it was phenom shortstop Starlin Castro, after appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated earlier this year, who fell victim to the long-feared SI cover jinx. And then, without warning, starting catcher Geovany Soto went down with a groin strain.

The injury came just weeks after Soto was featured on the cover of ‘Redbook.’

Soto posed for the ‘Redbook’ spread in mid-April, and his season has been a bust ever since, culminating in the groin injury this week. The injury will keep Soto out of action for at least two weeks, and will subject the Cubs to the hellish experience that is Koyie Hill.

The magazine, long thought the province of housewives and aspiring debutants, has become something of a wrecking ball in recent years, featuring Tiger Woods one month before his numerous affairs came to light, Tony Romo before he missed almost the entirety of the 2011 NFL season with a broken collar bone, and Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa just three days before his now-infamous pantsless press conference.

Soto, for his part, is trying to remain positive.

“It’s a real shame, how things played out,” Soto said while rehabbing in Mesa, Arizona this weekend. “I just wanted to share some eyebrow-sculpting tips with the world. Maybe a brownie recipe. And this is what happens.”

The Cubs, out of an abundance of caution, have cancelled all planned photo shoots over the next couple months, including an Alfonso Soriano spot in ‘Tiger Beat,’ and a Jeff Samardzija spread in ‘Pirate Beard Aficionado.’

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One Response to “Geovany Soto Bit By Dreaded ‘Redbook’ Curse”

  1. Week In Fake Sports: As expected, Jimmer Fredette is No. 1 pick overall in Rapture Draft | Off the Bench on May 20th, 2011 5:32 pm

    [...] ⇧ Geovany Soto Bit By Dreaded ‘Redbook’ Curse. [The Cubs Brickyard] [...]

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