The 5-Minute Superfan: June 29, 2008

June 29, 2008

Welcome to the fifth installment of The 5-Minute Superfan. If you’re wondering what the heck it is, check this page out. It’s been a crummy week in Cubs Nation. And not the delicious kind of crums - like the kind that fall off of an Otis Spunkmeyer cookie. As an aside, we’ve got a new resource here at The Brickyard: a complete catalog of the Cubs 2008 Draft. Ok, on with the Superfan. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 2 Comments

The 5-Minute Superfan: June 22, 2008

June 22, 2008

Welcome to the fourth installment of The 5-Minute Superfan. If you’re wondering what the heck it is, check this page out. It’s been a streaky week in Cubs Nation. And not all the good kind. Think half Heidi Klum streaking, and half Will Ferrell. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 11 Comments

The 5-Minute Superfan: June 16, 2008

June 16, 2008

Welcome to the third installment of The 5-Minute Superfan. If you’re wondering what the heck it is, check this page out. Well we’re back from a completely undeserved vacation, and hope you survived without us. The Cubs certainly did, losing just once this week, and continuing their torrid pace. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 1 Comment

The 5-Minute Superfan: June 6, 2008

June 6, 2008

Welcome to the second installment of The 5-Minute Superfan. If you’re wondering what the heck it is, check this page out. You might notice this week’s edition is running a bit early - we (that would be the royal “we,” which really just means “me”) will be without consistent internet access for the next week or so, and we wanted to make sure an get a Superfan out. You may notice sporadic articles over the next week. We’ll be back, though. We know you worry. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 5 Comments

The 5-Minute Superfan: June 1, 2008

June 1, 2008

Cubs logo

Welcome to the first installment of The 5-Minute Superfan. If you’re wondering what the heck it is, check this page out.

In case you missed it, this was an incredible - and historic - week for the Chicago Cubs. The team lost on Sunday, but streaked through the rest of the week unbeaten, taking them to a record of 35-21: the best in baseball. Why is this historic? The last time the Cubs entered the month of June with the best record in baseball was also the last time the team won a World Series. That’s right, it was 100 years ago. Read more

Written by Ace · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 8 Comments

Bricks and Ivy Radio — Episode 65

May 16, 2008

Bricks and Ivy Radio

In Episode 65…JIM FREAKING EDMONDS?!

Episode 65. Chicago Cubs Baseball on Bricks and Ivy Radio.Holy Moly. The Cubs Sign Jim Edmonds. The Cubs Hit, The Cubs Pitch, The Cubs Win. Chicago Cubs Baseball on Bricks and Ivy Radio. Fake Radio for an Ivy-Covered World.

CALL US ON THE NEW BRICKS & IVY RANT LINE — (312) 235-2820!

You can listen to the latest episode at the link here.
Or on our very own Cubs Brickyard page here.
OR…you can subscribe to our podcast (for free, of course) via iTunes here. Neat-0.

Written by Butcher · Filed Under The 5-Minute Superfan | 1 Comment

Citing Signability Concerns, Cubs Pass on Wieters - Instead Draft Upper East Colorado Valley State Community College Reserve Outfielder/Super Special Team Manager Timmy Gobbles

April 23, 2008

(Orlando, FL) - Speculation abounded early this afternoon as the Chicago Cubs officially made their first round selection in this year’s MLB first-year player draft. Would it be high school flame-thrower Rick Porcello? Switch-hitting Georgia Tech catcher Matt Wieters? In the end, largely due to financial considerations stemming from the sale of the team, the Cubs went with a young man - though not as young as the Chicago Bulls - they knew they could sign: former South Park Elementary star, and current Upper East Colorado Valley State Community College reserve outfielder and team manager Timmy Gobbles.

The Cubs reportedly struggled to the last minute in deciding between Gobbles and his sometimes nememis, rangey shortstop James “Jimmy” Vulmer (pictured right, above). Vulmer went three picks later and after loud cheers remarked, “Wow, what a great audience.”

“We really liked Rick [Porcello] and [Matt] Wieters, too. But in the end, when you’ve got a special guy on the board at your pick, you’ve just got to take him,” Cubs Scouting Director Tim Wilken said. “Signability was a consideration, sure. But Timmy has so much fight in him, and he’s a great clubhouse guy, too. He knows his plays, and knows when not to talk back. Also, he can’t walk, so we save money on cleats and stuff like that.”

Gobbles’ mother, Irene, said Timmy was thrilled about the selection, and although he always smiles, she could tell this time was different. “Timmy is so excited to be a part of the Cubs organization, and looks forward to the challenges of professional baseball,” she said. “He can’t speak, walk, hit or throw the ball, and he can’t run the bases with any semblance of awareness, so we really feel like the Cubs are a great fit.”

Shortly after the selection, the Gobbles headed out from the Orlando sports complex where the draft was being held to have a celebratory dinner at McDonalds.

(In case it isn’t painfully obvious, the Brickyard is a PARODY news publication, so accounts and quotes are FICTIONAL. The Cubs did not do or say these things, and have said that with Michael Barrett, they have met their mentally-handicapped quota for the season. And it’s better than drafting Greg Oden. No one should construe this fake article as being fact, including that last sentence. Additionally, any similarity between this and other publications is entirely coincidental. Don’t sue. We don’t have money anyway.)

Written by Ace · Filed Under Chicago Cubs, The 5-Minute Superfan | 3 Comments