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Lou Piniella’s Sudden Retirement Surprises Many Who Thought He’d Retired Months Ago

(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs and their fans were in for a shock this weekend when Lou Piniella, the team’s manager since October of 2006 announced that he was retiring at the end of Sunday’s game against the Atlanta Braves.

It marked the end of a storied career in baseball for Piniella, 66, who’d previously announced that this season would be his last.

His sudden decision sent shock waves throughout Cubdom, particularly among fans – most of whom thought Lou Piniella had retired several months ago. Read more

Cubs Management Working Hard to District Players from Team Woes

(San Francisco, CA) – It’s no secret that the Chicago Cubs are down in the dumps.

The team has lost 10 of 11, manager Lou Piniella is away to tend to his mother, and the players couldn’t be in worse spirits. It’s all they can do to get out of bed in the morning, let alone string together a victory or two.

At long last, however, the Cubs’ front office has taken note of the players’ despair, and they’re working hard to pull the players out of it. Read more

As Trade Deadline Nears, Jim Hendry’s Snack Pack Remains Untouchable

(Chicago, IL) – July 31 is a magical date in Major League Baseball. It marks the date by which players can be traded without being subjected to waivers, and possibly claimed by other teams before the trade goes through.

The Chicago Cubs, suffering through a profoundly disappointing 2010 season, are certainly in trade discussions – as they often are this time of year – but they are looking to trade away, not acquire.

That makes general manager Jim Hendry a very busy man these days, as he entertains requests from other teams. But for now, he says his favorite trade piece is off the table. No, his Snack Pack isn’t going anywhere. Read more

Tom Ricketts’ Attempts to Return Cubs Yield Embarrassment, Store Credit

(Chicago, IL) – It’s been a miserable first half for the 2010 Chicago Cubs. There have been player-driven headaches, early-season bullpen woes, and a consistent lack of timely hitting. All told, it’s netted a 39-50 club that seems to be going nowhere.

The season has been particularly difficult for new Chicago Cubs owner, Tom Ricketts. When he bought the team this winter for nearly $1 billion, he didn’t expect it to have so many holes.

And now, he’s trying to get his money back. Read more

After Completing Anger Management, Carlos Zambrano Will Head to Shopaholics Anonymous

(Chicago, IL) – Carlos Zambrano’s anger finally got the best of him. After a visible outburst last week directed at teammates, Zambrano was suspended by the team, and ordered to attend anger management counseling.

The team hopes the counseling will allow Zambrano to finally reign in his regular angry explosions, but without causing him to lose the fire that allows him to pitch so well.

But Zambrano won’t be back until after the All Star break, even if he completes anger management by then. Why? While the official line is that he needs time away from the team, sources suggest that the reason is because Zambrano will need additional counseling. Apparently, he’s not just addicted to rage. He’s also addicted to shopping. Read more

Mystery Teammate Smashes Starlin Castro’s Vuvuzela

(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs’ clubhouse is in turmoil this weekend, having been rocked by hostility and violence.

According to an anonymous Cubs player, teammates had grown so frustrated with young shortstop phenom Starlin Castro this past week that he was repeatedly receiving tongue lashings and verbal abuse. The abuse quickly turned physical – against the very thing that was enraging Castro’s teammates.

His vuvuzela. Read more

Chicago Cubs Eagerly Awaiting Call from Pac-10

(Chicago, IL) – The 2010 season has been unkind to the Chicago Cubs, who’ve plodded along with minimal success despite a bloated payroll. There is no sign of refuge on the horizon, and sources indicate that the front office has stopped hoping that the team will right the ship.

Instead, the team is looking to make a move. A big move. And it’s not a trade deadline deal they’re looking to make – the Cubs are hoping to be the next team invited to join the Pac-10. Read more

Piniella to Castro: I Told You to Keep Your Damn Balloons Away from the Power Lines

(Chicago, IL) – On Wednesday, the lights went out.

The Chicago Cubs were hosting the Los Angeles Dodgers at Wrigley Field Wednesday night when, as pitcher Tom Gorzelanny pitched to Blake DeWitt, power in the area went out. During the resulting delay, crews scrambled to turn the lights back on at Wrigley, and the Cubs scrambled to discover the source of the power outage.

It wasn’t long before manager Lou Piniella determined an old nemesis was the cause: shortstop Starlin Castro’s bundle of balloons. Read more

Cubs Ask Aramis Ramirez to Take Naps During Games

(Chicago, IL) – The Chicago Cubs’ offensive woes are a secret to no one.

Just as plain are the particular struggles of star third baseman Aramis Ramirez. His batting average stands at just .159, and he has not been able to keep his OPS over .500.

And the Cubs are no longer content to sit back and do nothing about it. The solution? They want Aramis to sit back and do nothing about it. Read more

Lack of Injuries Leave Cubs Excuse Reserves Dangerously Low

(Chicago, IL) – Despite a couple of recent wins against a struggling Arizona club, the Chicago Cubs’ season has been, on the whole, a disappointment. A lack of timely hitting or a reliable bullpen have led to a number of close, late losses.

But why exactly aren’t the Cubs performing better? It’s easy to see the problems, but it’s harder to see the reasons. So we went straight to the source: the Chicago Cubs Excuse Department. Read more

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  • Lou Piniella’s Sudden Retirement Surprises Many Who Thought He’d Retired Months Ago
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  • As Trade Deadline Nears, Jim Hendry’s Snack Pack Remains Untouchable
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