Detroit Red Wings Awarded Stanley Cup Under Shroud of Mystery, Apathy
June 5, 2008
(Pittsburgh, PA) - The NHL revealed late Wednesday night that it had selected this year’s Stanley Cup winner: The Detroit Red Wings. The sports world’s best kept secret began leaking when a few conspiracy theorist types claimed they had seen the Red Wings win the Cup live on television. While the NHL denied such ridiculous claims, the League did eventually decide it was best to let the cat out of the bag. Read more
Barry Melrose Tells Family He Works for ESPN, Leaves it at That
May 16, 2008
(Bristol, CT) - Barry Melrose is known to hockey fans as ESPN’s voice of the NHL. Barry Melrose is known to everyone else as that slightly creepy guy with greasy hair and an uncomfortable goatee.
It seems that the distinction is true even in Melrose’s inner circle of friends and family. This has been made noticeable because Melrose is too embarrassed to tell his loved ones that he is a hockey analyst. Read more
Random Flashback Headlines
- Cubs Open Camp for Hopeful Youngsters – Tell Youngsters Hope of Playing in the Big Leagues is Stupid
- Prince Fielder Becomes a Vegetarian - Meat Industry Files for Bankruptcy
- NEWSBRIEF: Reggie Bush on Relationship with Kim Kardashian: “There’s a chick attached to that ass?”
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- Kerry Wood is a Closer in the Same Way that Kyra Sedgwick is a Closer
- Barry Melrose Tells Family He Works for ESPN, Leaves it at That
- Cubs Trade Embattled Catcher After Panty-less Escapade
- Sean Gallagher Suspects Being Asked to Hold Fireworks During 4th of July Display “Might be hazing”
- Doctors Concede Tiger Woods “Probably didn’t need that bionic knee we gave him”
- Sexy Woman Named Danica Patrick Able to Drive
